Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | 1609 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Ain't it Offal, Mabel?

As the Food Flurry begins, Sam tells us he's very excited about the challenge because he knows a lot about the flavor profiles of all the offal and can definitely build a dish around them. Mia tells the camera she wanted to do pig's feet but two hours to cook "of-FAL" isn't enough time. I've never heard it pronounced that way. Betty tells us, "MARCEL went for that pig's blood." We see Marcel adding the blood to a sauce and blending with an immersion blender. Small tangent: I fucking love my immersion blender. It makes whipping up quick sauces or soups ridiculously easy. The other night, all I had were canned tomatoes and some aromatics and I really didn't want to spend a lot of time making a complicated sauce for my ravioli. I just sautéed some garlic in a deep pot, added tomato paste, tomatoes, and some fresh herbs. I let it cook down for about five minutes to develop more flavor, added some wine, and then blended it before tossing in my cooked pasta. No messy pouring into a Cuisinart, no steam spatters. All in one pot. Anyway, back to Betty analyzing Marcel, she adds, "He kinda looks like a vampire, dontcha think?" which, if I didn't already know that this show was filmed way before, I would take as a shout-out to those posters on the boards, who decided that Marcel's hair gave him a Gary Oldham in Bram Stoker's Dracula sort of look. Bravo's special effects crew flashes lightning and thunder, putting poor Marcel into negative relief, but do what they will, I still think he looks more like Lon Chaney, Jr. than anything. Food Flurry. Cliff is working with oxtail and sweetbreads, and Elia is working with sweetbreads and kidneys, which, she explains, are seen a lot in French cooking. She cleans them. Carlos tells us that most of the offal actually needs to be soaked or braised for long periods of time. Josie also makes comments about getting her meat "in," so it has as much time as possible to cook. Time ticks down. Betty bellows, "Who has a whole container of garlic?" Well, not Marcelferatu. Ted Ilan notes to us, "Lots of people tried cook things that were difficult to cook in such a short period of time." Padmadala calls time and tells everyone to drop their utensils and put their hands up.

Top Chef

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