Top Chef
Social Service

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | Grade It Now!
Ain't it Offal, Mabel?

In the kitchen, Colicchio eats his plate. Standing up. All by himself. Heh. The big cheese stands alone. And gets paid two dollars an hour to baby-sit. Somewhere else in the kitchen, Betty and Mia basically make out. Betty suddenly realizes she didn't mention the pastry. Cliff helps Josie and Marisa with their plating. Marisa determines that their dish is difficult to plate because it's so delicate. Frank is totally hysterical when he tells us, "When we got to Josie and Marisa's, I looked and I was just... kind of... in a state... of wonder... whyyyy... they had chosen a salad with... some... pink... spoon... thing. I thought it tasted like shit." The Awakening Trio is served. "It's like an intermezzo," Gail gets in quickly. "I don't understand it." Josie and Marisa come out and they both explain their dish of Prickly Pear and Coconut Soup, Fennel and Apple Salad, and Sautéed Pineapple Salad. Gail opines, "It's very disconnected to me." Michelle asks if she would send it back, Gail wouldn't; she just doesn't think she would ever order it because she doesn't know what it's going for. I thought that, as rule, intermezzos aren't usually ordered. They just come in between courses, all surprise-like. The executive chef of Social leans over and says, "At this restaurant, we really pride ourselves on the ingredients that we use. I just feel that the things I thought they would really be excited to use wouldn't be brought out to the table." Yeah, but dude? If you're so proud of the ingredients you use, that would extend to the ingredients that the cheftestants used. Because they're still your ingredients. The exec chef goes on, "I had proteins in house that would accommodate a really wonderful dinner. I'm a little disappointed, honestly." But... they were supposed to make lunch, not dinner. A random guest holds forth that he didn't think his palate was cleansed, "I felt like, in trying to deviate from a standard palate cleanser, they sort of missed the mark on what that course is supposed to accomplish." Go away, random guest.

In the kitchen, Elia and Carlos plate, and Elia doesn't want anyone helping them: "Too many hands just freak me out." She should never ever go to a "Hands Across America" event. Ever. Elia doesn't think being in the bottom three is even an option for them. Carlos suddenly swears and says, "There was an extra juice here, did somebody take it?" Betty barks something at Elia about "Put an ice cream on it, quick! Quick! Quick!" Put a sock in it, quick! Quick! Quick! Elia tells us that one of the desserts came back because it had two shots of juice and no ice cream. In the kitchen, Colicchio announces with some amount of evil triumph, "Your time is up, the plate can't go out." So, a guest just doesn't get their dessert? That's bizarre. Carlos tells us he was horrified and he completely blames himself. Elia hugs him and tells him it's okay. "I don't mind going home," he says to us, "because it was my mistake, but I didn't like the feeling that they could send Elia home for my mistake." Aw, he's just so sweet. In the ballroom, Elia explains they served a chilled pomegranate and orange juice with basil. Carlos says, "Phyllo dough with marscapone [MAS-CAR-PONE! Jesus fucking Christ -- it's NOT that HARD!] cream, champagne grapes, green grapes, topped with another phyllo dough with fig sauce on top." Elia finishes the explanation by saying that some guests got an apple sorbet with candied pistachios and other guests got pineapple sorbet with candied pistachios. They're applauded and whistled at. The judges really don't like the pomegranate juice. "It tastes like it sat out for too long and it got ripe," Michelle decides. Chef Ojeda doesn't think it's sexy to have to pick basil leaves out of your teeth while on a dinner date. But it's not a dinner date they were cooking for, it was a lunch. Stop blaming them for not doing something they weren't even directed to do!

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