Antonia laments that "sometimes the simplest dishes are harder to create," and wants to avoid dumbing down her dish to appeal to her audience. Dale's plan is to roast pork, "put pretzels on it, and gratin it." Pulsing the pretzels in a food processor doesn't work out the way Dale hopes -- it pretty much pulverizes them into dust, as Lisa glances over with a quiet glee. Jen, "a lot more fired up than everyone else," is cooking for Zoi, so maybe she won't use any salt and claim she loves heavy seasoning. I just had a wonderful lunch at Jen's restaurant, especially a delicious hamachi crudo with blood orange and basil -- the experience enhanced my feelings of support for her, but I wish she'd stuff a sock in the all the Zoi chatter. You're a devoted lover -- we get it, that's awesome, Zoi's a lucky lady -- but please remember the power of quietude.

Padma and her ladyfriend arrive to test the pairings, starting with Richard, whose grilled tuna sandwich with pickled vegetables is accompanied by Michelob Ultra infused with lime and cactus, which sounds both horrid and like the perfect beer for Richard. Richard thinks "Koren seems like the type of chef that's a super connoisseur of beer," which is most definitely code for "big lesbian," and when she has nothing to ask Richard, he compliments her "poker face." Poke her face -- hee! I just can't stop with the crummy lesbian jokes this week; I blame Bravo's gay fixation. As a somewhat shrill and confusing poster that once hung in my college eating club blared, "WE ARE ALL ON THE LESBIAN CONTINUUM." Honestly, I don't have the slightest idea what that actually means, but it's fun to say, especially in mixed company. "Thank you," says Koren, with an eye roll that indicates she adores Richard as much as I do.

Andrew landed the pomegranate and raspberry infused Michelob Ultra -- again, yuck -- continuing the disarming Richard/Andrew combo platter thread, and pairs it with rainbow trout with raspberry gastrique and peaches. Koren, a self-professed "acid person," thinks Andrew could have used a bit more to brighten his dish. Hey, more acid could totally brighten this whole season -- can we please have a Quickfire that involves pairing food with the psychotropic drug of choice, which the cheftestants must ingest prior to cooking? Look, I made a peeled grape and cold spaghetti casserole! Feel it!