Ty made watermelon, vanilla bean honey, black pepper and salted olive oil powder. Lindsay made marinated baby octopus, tempura sea beans and togurashi. I don't know what those things are and why I would want to eat most of them, but I'm sure she did a good job. Actually, I'm not sure. I was trying to be nice. Chris Hollywood made a lady suit out of skin. Just kidding! He also made risotto foam, scallops, raisins, and fried capers. There's no food in there. I guess the scallops, but seriously. Foam and raisins? That's like an anorexic's dream meal. Paul made endive salad, egg yolk and parmesan and truffle powder. It's all white. That does not look appetizing at all. I should just shut up. I'm not going to like any of this stupid food except for Sarah's raviolo.
Chris Moto finally has his chance and he's ALL fired up about it and the other cheftestants are looking at each other and smirking and rolling their eyes. He tells Padma and Nathan to "take the red pill" and how long did he plan out that line and how gross is it that he planned it out for so long? God, he is a dork. Then he starts explaining the miracle berry and what it does and Nathan is like, "I grow it in my basement." In other words, shut up, noob. Oh, that was great. YA BURNT, Chris Moto. So then he has them eat a lemon which tastes, according to Padma, like a tangerine. So just eat a tangerine? Shutting up now. The rest of his dish is a deconstructed cheesecake, and sparkling water with lemon and lime. I have so many remarks about how dumb this dish is, but you've heard it all already. Paul speaks for all of us when he interviews that Chris's miracle berry is "kind of gimmicky."
Time for Nathan to tell us who sucked. Well, first up is Paul, who had interesting texture but not enough depth of flavor. Beverly didn't do anything different enough to make her dish stand out. Grayson used a simple preparation which showed that her elements weren't great. So who was good? Ty had interesting spices and technique. Sarah took something traditional but put it in a new context. Before they announce the third, Chris Moto has a heart attack. Just kidding. He's fine, and he is in the top three. I mean, he has to be. So who is the winner? Not Chris Moto! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Ty won. I can't look at him anymore without seeing those naked pictures that leaked onto the Internet this week. Go ahead and Google it. I'm not linking to it here. But you can't unsee them once you've seen them.