Top Chef
Texas BBQ Wars

Episode Report Card
Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Salt Lick

As they wait to hear from the judges, Sarah wants to talk about what went wrong with her team. She says that she felt a weird vibe and Ed tells her not to get emotional. Fuck off, Ed. Don't tell her what to feel. Padma comes in and asks to see the Blue Team of Paul, Lindsay and Grayson. They go to a makeshift Judges' Table out on the lawn and are told that they're the winning team. Tom says that everything was cooked nicely and seasoned well. Gail adds that the brisket was "heads and tails" above that of everyone else. No one mentions the terrible Brussels sprouts. I told you that the sides didn't matter. The biggest thing they did right was put their own spin on it with the Asian flavors. So they get to split $15,000, which brings Paul to a total of $35,000 in the competition. Damn.

So now the other two teams have to face the judges. They start with Sarah, and says that her chicken was moist, but more like grilled instead of barbequed. I thought that was the problem with Chris Moto's chicken? I guess they were both that way. Sarah says that she wishes she had used the smoker. Nathan advises cooking the chicken and crisping the skin before adding barbeque, which is like grilling 101, right? Because otherwise the sugars in the sauce will burn before the chicken is fully cooked. God, even I know that and I know very little about grilling. Ty says that he feels pretty bad, and Gail says that his meat was heavy-handed in seasoning and not cooked enough. Padma asks about the coleslaw, and Ty says that he shaved the cabbage and Ed pickled the beans. The judges didn't like the orange-mint. Then they get to asking why they pre-sliced the brisket. Ed doesn't really throw Sarah under the bus, but says that's why they did it. Tom says that they should have just dealt with having a long line and done it right. He has a point, but I bet it's ingrained in their brains to not make people wait.

Moving on to the other team, they start out by discussing the coleslaw. There was nothing terribly wrong with it, except that it was so traditional. The judges complain that the chicken was also too traditional, and was more of a roast chicken than a barbeque. Chris Moto says that he cooked all the meats. Chris Hollywood pipes up that he did the rubs for the brisket and the ribs as well as the sauces. Padma wants to know why he used Dr. Pepper and Chris Hollywood thinks it's Texas. Tom just shrugs and then says that the real problem was the salty rub. And then they tell Beverly that her beans were undercooked. Man, everything sucked on their plate.

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