Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | Grade It Now!
Eat Like You Were Dying

Colicchio tells the assembled cheftestants that they delivered some great dishes, but the winner was chosen unanimously. Pepin announces that the winner is...Fabio! Yay! I like that at least the judges are mixing it up and keeping things interesting (and hopefully deservedly so). As the winner, in addition to going to the semifinals, Fabio also gets a giant bottle of fancy wine and a trip to Napa Valley. Fabio interviews that he's not in the semifinals because he's funny or he paid someone; he's in because he "made good food through the competition." Well said. Colicchio tells Carla that her peas were superb, and she's through to the semifinals as well. Carla interviews that she's a tortoise picking up speed and then she mimes looking over her shoulder as she passes people and gets a goofy victory grin on her face and it's the most awesome thing of all time. Someone please make me a .gif of that scene. Anyway, Fabio and Carla leave to go celebrate.

Stefan, Leah, and Hosea are left to face the music. Colicchio reminds Leah of her undercooked egg and her thin Hollandaise. He tells Stefan about the overcooked salmon again, and Stefan looks really nervous for the first time. He tells Hosea that he went too far outside the traditional scampi. And then Padma tells.... Leah to pack her knives and go. FUCKING FINALLY! If she beat out Stefan, I would have cut a bitch. Because, seriously. Leah thanks everyone and Padma congratulates Hosea and Stefan.

In Leah's closing interview, she says that she didn't know the competition would be this hard, and she's made a lot of good friends (and lost one boyfriend). Hosea says he thinks she should be proud (of losing her boyfriend) (and he should be proud of losing his girlfriend) (equal opportunity) (not sexist). Anyway, Leah bids everyone farewell with many hugs and kisses and high fives, and interviews that the competition has given her confidence, but she knows she has to learn a lot more, and she's proud she made it as far as she did.

Once Leah is gone, the remaining cheftestants celebrate and, in separate interviews, talk about how they are sure they are going to win, bitches! Who's your pick? I think mine is still Stefan, although this week threw that into doubt. But I would be okay with any of the remaining cheftestants winning the whole thing, now that Leah's gone.

Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at

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Top Chef




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