Top Chef
Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 725 USERS: B-
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Surfin' So Sorry

No major barracking in the back.

The judges discuss. Gail really rails on Sam for whining about how hard the challenge was when so many others did a really good job. She calls his whining "lame." Heh. Finally, they call the three losers back in and, after a ridiculously protracted and roundabout surfing metaphor from Colicchio, Padmadala knifes Frank. Padmadala asks if he has anything he wants to say. "Um, yeah, everybody in this room? And in the pantry? Is welcome at my house for good food, good wine, and good friends." Ick. He just icks me all over. I'm so glad His Scary Intenseness is gone.

In the back, Frank announces, "I am the sacrificial lamb." Not bull? You can hear Mia's "Awww," but I doubt anyone was really that surprised. Frank perfunctorily hugs everyone. When Marcel gets his, he's got a face of stone. Frank tells us that he thinks he's better than people who are still there. Isn't it quaint to have that particular statement come right after he and Michael did that whole handshake pulled into a one-arm Man Shoulder Hug thing? Frank blathers ridiculously, "A true chef is a gentleman and shall remain that way." Yeah, gentleman always threaten to beat other people so bad that their poor breast-cancer-surviving mothers won't recognize them. Why did I mention breast-cancer-surviving mothers all apropos of nothing? I don't know, Frank, why did I?

Next week: The real Ted Allen is back. I wonder if they'll use a split screen.

Top Chef

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