In the back, Frank announces, "I am the sacrificial lamb." Not bull? You can hear Mia's "Awww," but I doubt anyone was really that surprised. Frank perfunctorily hugs everyone. When Marcel gets his, he's got a face of stone. Frank tells us that he thinks he's better than people who are still there. Isn't it quaint to have that particular statement come right after he and Michael did that whole handshake pulled into a one-arm Man Shoulder Hug thing? Frank blathers ridiculously, "A true chef is a gentleman and shall remain that way." Yeah, gentleman always threaten to beat other people so bad that their poor breast-cancer-surviving mothers won't recognize them. Why did I mention breast-cancer-surviving mothers all apropos of nothing? I don't know, Frank, why did I?
Next week: The real Ted Allen is back. I wonder if they'll use a split screen.