MONDO EXTRAS

Moving on to other personal subjects, a fan from Guerneville, CA wants Colicchio to know that he's become an icon of the "Bear" community. Everyone dissolves into laughter -- Ilan especially. He looks like a monkey. Apparently, because Andy doesn't know of such things, he asks Ted Allen to translate the gay. "My understanding of the Bear community, which is extremely limited, is that it's gay men who appreciate...muscular, strong, really masculine, burly men. So apparently, the burly gay men of American find you delicious, Tom." Colicchio giggles, "Hear! Hear! to the burly gay men of America," and gives an embarrassed thumbs-up, while Padma strokes him in congratulations. However, just to make sure that we ALL KNOW HE'S HETERO SO HANDS OFF BOYS, Colicchio says, "You know, as long as I go home, my wife and my son appreciate me, I'm happy."

Andy would like us to know that while there are five stages of grief, there are also five stages of being on a reality show. God, do we really have to do this? Stage One is Denial with Hung saying his beige dish didn't lack color and more along that line. Stage Two is Anger with Frank telling someone (probably Marcel) to shove his head up his ass, and Mia telling Cliff to "put [your] dick away" (Can I get a black bone?) and stuff like that, lots of swearing, mostly. Stage Three is Bargaining, with Ken trying to defend talking back to Hubert Keller, and Mia pleading to be sent home for Elia's sake. Stage Four is Depression, with Emily crying, and Elia crying, and Sara M. crying, and Casey wondering what the wet stuff is coming down from her eyes, and lots and lots of Dave being a big, red, crying polar bear. Stage Five is Acceptance, with ousted cheftestants accepting their knife-packing in good grace.