Top Chef
Top Chef 3: Watch What Happens

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Shit Happens

Oh, and we're finally in the home stretch of what Andy calls an "orgy of fun." If this is an orgy, celibacy must be way more stimulating. Andy wants to know if they are all better chefs for being on Top Chef. Sandee, Clay, and Mikey think so. Consider the source there. Andy asks what their public response has been. "I haven't bought a drink in over a year, you know?" Mikey drawls. And now his wife can finally open a savings account. Ted Allen wants to know if Mikey has been contacted by any dentists lately. "A lot of people thought that was herpes or something, 'cuz it looked like a cold sore," Mikey says, "And I don't have herpes, I just wanna get that out there." His wife is very happy to hear that. Gail announces that Mikey did some of his best cooking, post-oral surgery.

Andy reads another question asking how many of them would go back and do it all again. Almost all of them raise their hands, but it looks as though Micah, Camille, and Sandee don't. Andy calls Micah out for not being a previous watcher of the show and wonders if she's now watching it. (He's worried about those South African ratings.) Micah says her friends are forcing her to watch it but it's hard to watch yourself, especially if it's snippets of yourself. Harold, who has been silent for WAY too long, finds it crazy than any prospective cheftestant wouldn't watch previous seasons to see what they were in for. Seriously. Micah gets her back up, "See, but I'm an 'experience' person. My whole life has been about going out in the world and experiencing and traveling and doing things. So, I looked at it as, 'Okay, I've not done that.'" Whatever. Mikey hilariously rolls his eyes at this. ["Dude, everybody in that room hated her; it was fantastic to watch." -- Joe R] Andy asks for winner predictions. Ilan thinks that Tre is "totally solid." Shut up forever, Ilan. Also, I think Tre has been solidly middling. He's been high but he's also been very low. Many times. Sam charmingly says he thought the girls had it and adds, "But they're all here next to me, so..." Harold thinks Hung's a safe bet and admits that it's way more entertaining to watch the show from the other side.

And now we say goodbye to Andy, and I can finally wake up and go to bed. You know those electron microscopes? The ones you can use to see all the parts of a naked atom? If I used that, I still would not be able to locate my interest in this episode.

Thank God I get to slap Rocco DiSpirito around next week.

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Top Chef

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