Top Chef

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you don't want to talk about it? Don't pretend like you don't know how television works, dick. And that the producers made Fabio ask the question. Fabio, to his credit, basically says he's happy to drop it if Marcel doesn't want to discuss it. And then Marcel has to provoke the situation further by bringing up the time they pinned him down and shaved his head (or tried to, anyway). Fabio gets his Irish (or Italian) up and says that he's just trying to hold a conversation and Marcel retorts that he would love to talk about Fabio's season, but he didn't watch it.

Okay. There's a part of me that doesn't want to give this dick any more attention, but he's on the show and I have to recap it and he just pisses me off. He was asked to attend this reunion show. He had to have some idea what it was going to be about. If it was somehow misrepresented to him by producers, he has a few choices: he could leave, or he could clam up and just get through it, or he could antagonize the others. And he has chosen the third option. Now, if he wanted to be a dick to Ilan, I wouldn't really care. Ilan deserves it. But what did poor Fabio ever do to him? So Stefan tries to smooth things over and says that he always defended Marcel's cooking abilities on the blogs, and Marcel (who remember, doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, and yet has obviously Googled himself) says that Stefan also called him a twat. He does at least chuckle when he says this. Stefan defends himself and says he actually said that Marcel is a bit of a twat, but who's not? Because Stefan is funny, and self-deprecating, even when he's being an arrogant jerk. It's a lesson Marcel needs to learn if he wants to be a human being that functions in society. Stefan interviews that Marcel has grown up a bit. Really? Has he?

Fabio calls everyone together and says he has a surprise for everyone and pulls out the knife block. Harold laughs that the things needs to be napalmed. Blais interviews that he's always the suspicious one, questioning everything that happens and trying to figure out what's going to happen next because he misses the competition.

Fabio has the cheftestants get into groups according to season, and then one person from each group pulls a knife with a number on it. Once all are pulled, Fabio explains that they will be cooking a five-course meal, with each season going in the order of the knife pulled.

Stefan and Carla have the fifth and final course, and they are trying to figure out if they want to do a dessert. Fabio talks them into it, since they are both good at dessert, even if it did get them into trouble from time to time. Stefan jokes that he made a great dessert in the finale and Fabio threw him under the bus.

Everyone heads to Whole Foods for some shopping and general horseplay. Since it's not really a competition, everyone is a lot looser. Casey interviews that it's hard to say who the best chef there is, because they all have such different culinary personalities. Richard and Lisa check out the dry-aged meat and reminisce about the time they had to cut down a side of beef into tomahawk chops. Dale says that the most difficult challenge in his season was the one where they could only shop from one aisle in the super market and he made ramen noodles with an egg on top. We also see a clip of Harold wondering why anyone would cater a wedding with food from the supermarket. Oh, the days before Whole Foods was a show sponsor. Now the cheftestants get to hop behind the counter and butcher their own meat.

Marcel and Ilan discuss whether or not to get wine, and Ilan remembers what a jerk he was to Marcel, and how Marcel kind of deserved it. As they check out, Marcel and Ilan realize that they've gone over the already inflated budget. And not even by a little. The budget is $500 and their total was $588.91, so they have to put some stuff back.

Everyone returns to the kitchen and starts cooking. Ilan remembers how Marcel wanted to show off his knives upon their first meeting. I wish this episode were not so Marcel-centric. Tiffani notes that they're all professional adults now, whereas on her season, they were all kids. Harold says that the kitchen is pretty relaxed and chill, and Hung was even mellow, but to Harold's amusement, Hung started running around before too long.

Dale explains that his team has the first course, and they're doing with a seafood theme. Casey is using oysters, Hung is using sardines, and Dale is making crab pierogis, although Tiffani tells him that his filling is too salty. Also, the wine he used is, in his words, "nasty," so he's trying to recover. I'm not sure how.

Fabio shows up to play the Colicchio role and ask each group about their food. Casey explains that their group is making a trio of food, and each basically working on their own dish. Fabio kind of awkwardly segues into a question about the craziest dishes ever to appear on the show and Casey brings up Hung's cereal village. Hung admits that he kind of lost it that day, but people loved it.

Harold and Tiffani have the second course, and they are making scallops. Fabio misses an opportunity to say something about Top Scallop, and instead asks them about their favorite challenge from their season. Tiffani liked the street food challenge, but Harold didn't, since his team forgot the jicama salad and his partner ended up being eliminated.

Fabio moves on to discuss the third course with Marcel and Ilan, who are salt-curing some snapper. Their favorite challenge was the Vending Machine Challenge, where Michael made a phallic Cheeto-looking thing. Oh, they did have a time.

Richard and Lisa have the fourth course, and they're doing a play on corn-fed beef. He asks them what the most difficult challenge was from their season, and Lisa immediately says that it was Wedding Wars. Richard thought it was also the most realistic, because that's what chefs do.

And finally, Fabio gets to talk to his castmates, Carla and Stefan, about the fifth course. Fabio says that he knows that they're making dessert, so he asks Carla how stressful it was to cook on the show. What a dumb question. Of course she's going to say that it was stressful. Carla interviews that her favorite challenge was the Le Bernardin challenge, because she admires Eric Ripert so much. Fabio brings up the time she cooked green eggs and ham. Carla admits that people stop her and ask about that dish all the time. Stefan teases Fabio about his accent and we're out.

Stefan tries to flirt with Tiffani and she jokingly accuses him of being a "lesbian opportunivore" and Lisa asks what that even means. Tiffani asks him about his "girlfriend" Jamie (as we see clips of their relationship) and Lisa interviews that she admires Stefan's cooking skills and food knowledge, but also his energy.

The cheftestants continue cooking and tasting and start plating. Finally, it's time to eat. They all head out to the dining table with their food. Once they're all seated, Fabio offers up a toast to the cream of the crop and explains how honored he is to be there, and how much he wishes he could have cooked with them.

Weird Interstitial. When Marcel, Casey, and Richard came back last season to be sous chefs in the finale, they were called before the judges. Richard was trying to talk about Hosea, and Marcel would not stop interrupting him to sing Stefan's praises. Finally, Toby Young told Marcel to shut up, and Marcel got all offended by it. Toby tries to reset things and ask a question and Marcel gets all bitchy about it: "If you were LISTENING to what I SAID..." Gail has to step in and remind Marcel that he's not being judged and they're just asking about the cooking, and Marcel gets sniffy and walks out in a snit. I think he might be on drugs. That's the only thing I can think of to explain his behavior. Because I just can't believe that one human being could be that much of an asshole. And also, the producers of this show hate him, because they have gone out of their way to show what a little prick he was.

Finally, it's time to eat. Dale explains their first course: trio of seafood. Casey made Fanny Bay oysters puree, puffed rice, cilantro, watermelon, green beans, and red onion. Dale made a crab pierogi with mushroom and asparagus ragout and a curry Hollandaise with bacon. Hung made sardines with caramelized sugar pork broth and scallions. Marcel says that he couldn't even taste the fish broth in Hung's dish. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

As they eat, Fabio asks the table at large if they felt the judges' criticism was fair during their season. Dale feels that everyone was unfairly criticized at one time or another. Cue the montage of mean things that the judges said, and the retorts that some of the cheftestants had. Tiffani points out that sometimes viewers don't see the resources and time that are allotted for each challenge, like when they used a cake from a box for the wedding challe

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