It Came Upon A Sniff And Sneer
They all play pool until Betty, wearing a red spaghetti-strap tank top that she really shouldn't be, minces dramatically over to the Christmas stockings and starts handing them out. They're all Top Chef jokes and I have to say, I didn't necessarily get all of them. For one, I seem to be coming down with selective amnesia and for two, Top Chef proves yet again that they don't know anything about food. Cursing and laughing mightily, CJ yanks some broccoli out of his. Why? Because of the whole broccoli fiasco. Oh, but wait! That WASN'T broccoli, it was BROCCOLINI! Yes, they are from the same family and broccolini is a natural hybrid of Chinese kale and broccoli, but they are still two totally different vegetables. How do I know? Because I love one and hate the other. As CJ reads his card from Colicchio out loud, Tiffani pulls on an "I'm not your bitch, BITCH!" t-shirt. We get a flashback to Dave saying those immortal words to her, but I think she got the t-shirt because she tried to steal it, and the limelight, from Dave in that deliciously horrific reunion. Josie gets a bottle of Pepto-Bismol, because that's what the dessert that sent her home looked like. The thing is, though, Bravo screws up the flashback; and we don't even see the pink component of the acid-relieving dessert. Tre pulls out some hand-crunchers things. What the hell? They don't have anything to do with his cooking, do they? Also, they're so, like, the stuff of '80s bullies and corporate meatheads. I mean, Tre wasn't the most interesting cheftestant but the least they could've done is call out his bread pudding and given him a loaf. ["The only explanation I can think of is that he went home on a 'lack of leadership,' and those things are an executive toy. Still: weak sauce, TC. Literally." -- Sars] Sandee is given product-placed KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce, Marcel gets mousse -- sorry, sculpting foam -- and Stephen gets a cheesy Santa tie. It also looks like they all got the Nick Verreos-designed Top Chef aprons. I'm shocked Bravo didn't have their Top Chef knives ready for the Christmas shopping-product placement season.