It Came Upon A Sniff And Sneer
Tre goes first and unwraps cheese balls. Ah, those were such a staple at our Christmas table when my grandfather sent us the deluxe Hickory Farms box! Said boxes also came with those awesome strawberry candies, which, in retrospect, is an odd thing to pair with cheese and meats, but totally made sense to me back in the day. CJ selects a present and unwraps a packet of smoked salmon, which Betty promptly steals. CJ goes back to the tree and unwraps a can of black truffles, which Tiffani steals. CJ goes back to the tree and unwraps a nutcracker. "How appropriate!" Tiffani guffaws. CJ also got some walnuts. "You know, the last time someone stole my nuts, he was a urologist and he had a degree and this time I was pretty sure no one was going to do it," CJ tells us. Hee. Meanwhile, I had one of those random wonderings I have when trying hard to avoid work, and I wondered if CJ's urologist uses CJ as a marketing ploy. "Yeah, you know Top Chef's CJ? I derocked him." Although, if CJ's urologist wanted to go with the whole food angle, he could say he "shucked his Rocky Mountain oysters." Marcel steals Tiffani's black truffles, and Tiffani unwraps sweet potatoes. Sandee unwraps a full hank of prosciutto ham. Stephen steals Tiffani's sweet potatoes because, as he explains to us, he wants to do something "experimental." Tiffani unwraps caviar, and Josie steals the truffles from Marcel. Marcel unwraps toro (fatty tuna belly) and is psyched about "this incredible, like, fish product." Do you think he knows what it is? Finally, Santa reveals himself to be a Père Noël in the form of Eric Ripert. Okay, I love him, but is he EVER at Le Bernardin? Maybe not, actually.