MONDO EXTRAS

It Came Upon A Sniff And Sneer

by Keckler December 12, 2007 8:42 AM
Top Chef

Marcel presents his toro tartare, the cubes of which are topped with a sunny-side-up egg, and that's all sitting on a round of toast covered with a slice of prosciutto. On the side is a baby-poop smear of chive puree. Going right back to his favorite coffee cup presentation, Stephen explains that he made a "yam soup." Okay, dude? Yams and sweet potatoes? Not the same thing, so which is it, buddy? Anyway, his "yam" soup is composed of mocha and lavender, which is making me throw up in my throat a little, and a "sage chip" (read: fried sage). On the side of this is a "salad" of "olivo crustini" (read: piece of bread fried in olive oil, and it's "crostini," you nimwit -- "crustini" sounds like something you dig out of your eye in the morning) with "a salata" (salad, freak) of dried cherries, yams, and thyme. Finally, we end with Tiffani, who tells us she ended up with Osetra caviar, which, she tells us, "I couldn't have asked for more or better." She did a duo of scallops: the first is a seared scallop with olive oil, lemon zest, and caviar; the second is a play on blini and caviar. It's not explained, but having made them, I'm thinking she pureed the scallop and made a blini batter, which she then fried and topped with caviar. And there's vodka somewhere because Tiffani says, "Vodka, vodka -- caviar and vodka!" as Padma and Ripert down a shot. "That's...serious," Ripert comments. Hee. On the side, Stephen is looking somewhat annoyed and constipated, but I'm not worried because I think that's his usual expression.

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