Top Chef
Vegas Finale, Part II

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Leggo My Ego

Later that day? Next day? Tiffani arrives in the commissary and bitches that Stephen and Dave were supposed to be there to help her get her stuff up to craftsteak. Tiffani stands around with her arms crossed, her small mouth being sucked into nothingness. "Well, if being late inspires them to work their asses off for me, so much the better," she decides. Don't count on it, Tiff. Stephen and Dave walk in. You know, that's it -- Stephen is such a weird walker! Either he minces or he walks as though his abdomen is dragging the rest of him along. His entry into craftsteak's kitchen is bizarre. It's like his head arrives as an afterthought. Tiffani briefly asks if they're okay and then says, "All right," shortly. Dave tells us that he and Stephen went out and had a great evening in Vegas. We cut to shots of Dave in his Japanese bandana and Stephen without his usual suit jacket downing drinks. Lots of drinks. Looks sort of intimate. Lots and lots of drinks. "Let's just leave it at that," Dave says. Huh? No, really -- HUH? Dave jokes that they need to taste some of the wines. Tiffani tells us she was happy to have Dave and Stephen in whatever way she could have them, "Hung over, sober, whatever -- doesn't matter. Still drunk." She is really working hard not to be a bitch here, and I give her props for that. Too bad 'twill all come to naught. ... Sorry, I've been reading The Other Boleyn Girl and it's seeped into my lexicon.

They cook. Tiffani tells us, "They were definitely hung over." She adds, "I had to literally say everything to Stephen three times." Maybe he just couldn't hear you because your mouth is too small. They cook. They plate the first course.

Dinnerati arrive, and Tiffani greets them. Bot wants to introduce everyone. "These people don't need introduction, Bot," Tiffani smarms. Maybe not to you, but they don't know you from Adam, so how about whipping up a nice hot pot of SHUT IT STEW?! Tiffani then proceeds to go on some tangent about her life and duality and her approach and blah. She finally leaves. "Do we know more about duality and what does she mean?" Dana asks. Lorraine hysterically asks with a stagy gasp, "Do I have to put my Dr. Melfi suit on?" I just had a weird Silence of the Lambs flash of Lorraine Bracco putting on an all-body suit made from skin. Don't know why my mind went there.

Kitchen. Tiffani announces, "I don't want to talk at all until we're completely done with this. I'm sorry. Pull plates! Let's go!" She tells us, "I needed them to flow with me." In the kitchen Tiffani orders Stephen not to disappear on her. He promises he won't.

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