Oh, goodness, Little Blaisette really is almost here -- she endured a false alarm last night, so she's expected at any moment. Fine -- you can stay home. Which also happens to be the name of the new restaurant he recently opened, which, says Richard, is currently experiencing growing pains. Opening it was much like having a baby. Richard admits he's tired, and he looks it. Man's definitely been busy. But what Andy really wants to talk about is Richard's forbidden love for Dale, and Richard delivers the goods by admitting (only after it's confirmed that he actually said it once already) that yes, Dale does have "gorgeous nipples."

So, Richard, what the hell happened to you, asks Andy, since many people thought this was your Top Chef to win? Well, I'm not a woman, despite what some people may think, explains Richard, and goes on to discuss the fact that he "overthought" as opposed to relaxing, being creative, and following his instinct. Colicchio wanders deeper into the retread, offering Richard the backhanded compliment that it was his competition to lose before rehashing the "choking" conversation from judges' table. I don't care to learn more about that, so let's move along to the baby gift that Andy wants Richard to hold up for the camera. Unfortunately, it's not a pint-size "I HAVE A CULINARY BONER" T-shirt, but an innocuous Top Chef onesie. Richard hopes they have one in his size, which would be quite flattering. Don't go away, warns Andy, or you'll miss the fan favorite award! The suspense is...endless.

OH MY GOD IT TOTALLY IS. Now Andy wants to know who everyone thinks might win "the hearts of America and $10,000." Spike thinks it's Stephanie or Andrew. Richard thinks it's Andrew or Mark. Padma is banking on Antonia. Antonia guesses it's someone who made it pretty far along. Nimma interjects, "See, I think it's gonna be me," a cute joke that she totally ruins by helpfully telling us that she's joking. Colicchio thinks Andrew's quirky personality or Stephanie's girl-next-door qualities might be rewarded, but is pretty sure that Lisa's not going to win, a joke that gets exactly one laugh. From Colicchio. Stephanie's the winner, and she lives up to type by assuring everyone that dinner and drinks are on her. People in Chicago seem to like her, she says, and gee willikers! What a big, huge surprise. This marks the first time that the Top Chef competition winner also won fan favorite, so, uh, write it down on a list somewhere.