Top Chef
Who Deserves To Be Here

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Who Deserves To Be Here?

Harold interviews that his thirteen years of service and comfort behind the line didn't seem to matter when he saw others return in defeat. Camera in his face, Harold greets the other cooks in Spanish. Harold says aloud that he's shaking for no good reason as he squeezes out droplets of balsamic syrup on a circle of basil oil. Keller gives Harold another chance to get his shakes under control but when he examines the plate again, Keller fails him out for nerves after seven minutes.

Lee Anne and her eight years of experience are very comfortable with everything. She calls out commands, plates and cooks with ease, and passes. Keller even asks if she would stay another ten minutes.

Finally we have DonKen and his twenty brogue years of experience. He majorly fucks up when he sticks his finger in a sauce to taste it. Keller tells him now they have to throw out the sauce and start it all over again. DonKen is failed after one minute for "unsanitary tasting." Heh. Colicchio underscores that unhygienic hijinks just don't fly in Keller's kitchen. Outside, DonKen swaggers about his fail, boasting, "I always use my finger." Which, gross. On many levels. My instructors always told me that when you stick your finger in to taste something, it's as if you're sticking your entire mouth in. Even worse, because your finger is probably much dirtier than your mouth. Except, maybe, in Cynthia's case. You always carry around a tasting spoon in your pocket and that spoon never dips into the pot. Using another spoon, you pull out a taste, drop that taste in your tasting spoon and taste. Then you toss the first spoon into the wash. It complicated but it's clean. Different restaurants and different chefs have different standards but the point is, you cook and perform to the standards of the kitchen you are standing in, regardless of how you've done it before.

Keller comes out, and The Katie Leebot announces that Lee Anne won the Quickfire challenge. Lee Anne dimples and shakes Keller's hand as everyone else applauds. Some more thin-lipped and more reluctantly than others, Tiffani. The Katie Leebot must be stuck on a subroutine because she finds about four different ways to remind us that because of her win, Lee Anne cannot be eliminated the next day. The next day's Elimination Challenge is for each chef to cook his or her signature dish. The Katie Leebot instructs them to go home and enjoy their first night in the house: "For one of you, it will be your last." Keller pleasantly tells all of them, "I hope you learned something today." DonKen brogues up, "I didn't learn anything today, Chef, I wasn't there long enough." Exactly. You learned that your dirty, dirty finger doesn't go well with Keller's sauces. Scary music plays as Tiffani looks bug-eyed. DonKen goes on, asking if Keller threw out the contaminated sauce. Keller shrugs, "I saw you licking your finger." "You're not answering my question, Chef," DonKen persists, making the title sound as disrespectful as possible. "You said you were going to trow the sauce out, did you trow it out?" DonKen wonders. Hell, even I learn faster than this guy; maybe I should be on Top Chef. Keller tells him that no one in his kitchen "puts the finger in the sauce." DonKen shrugs insultingly and says that he works with his hands. Dude, tell me what restaurant he works in so I can never go there. Colicchio jumps in and reams DonKen for being a disrespectful asshole to the chef in his own restaurant. DonKen smarms that he speaks his mind, and that's who he is. Colicchio continues to call him out on his crap and says that there's probably eleven people who would agree. "Absolutely," Tiffani is the first to brown-nose. ["Stay out of it, little sister." -- Sars] A few others agree. Colicchio says that he guesses they'll see what he's really made of in the Elimination Challenge. DonKen shrugs.

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