Top Chef
Who Deserves To Be Here

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Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
Who Deserves To Be Here?

The chefs have one hour and thirty dollars to concoct their signature dish. Cynthia lets off a string of profanity to the effect that she doesn't know what the fuck she's going to do. DonKen shows off by forcing his way behind the poultry counter (they have a separate counter for fish, poultry, and red meat -- it's glorious!) and airlining a chicken breast himself. It's really not the most attractive name for a boneless chicken breast with the first wing bone still attached, is it? As DonKen breaks down a chicken, an unknown voice yells, "He has to come out now!" We don't know if it's the Bryan's manager concerned about their liability, or a Top Chef producer concerned about time. Harold knows that his shakes in Fleur de Lys means he has to step up his game. He picks up some snapper. Cynthia bounces around the red meat counter, still not knowing what she wants to do but buying shit regardless. Stephen -- oh, man. Let me get some juice in my glass. So, Stephen is in the wine shop next door to Bryan's. And he's in his suit and tie (TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING!) and he's introducing himself to a Hawaiian-shirted proprietor, saying, "My name is Stephen, by the way, I'm a sommelier in Las Vegas." I'm sorry, but like being a sommelier in Vegas is some sort of challenge? Most of the people there are so eager to get wasted, they don't care what sort of rotgut you pour down their throats just as long as it works. I know Nobhill (where Stephen works) is a Michael Mina establishment -- he of the ridiculous $75.00 Lobster Pot Pie at the Bellagio -- but still, come on. You know what would be a challenge? Being a sommelier in wine country where people know their shit from their Shiraz and you have to go a long way to impress them. Stephen blusters some more about selecting a wine in his budget, asking if any are open for tasting, and then undertaking the important task of "educating" his fellow competitors. Lisa notices how Stephen holds the wine in his mouth, which Stephen calls "retro-nasal tasting." He's not wrong, but he's still a condescending dicksmack.

Elimination challenge. After a brief Kenmore Elite and Calphalon commercial from The Katie Leebot, Colicchio tells the group that they'll be cooking their signature dishes for each other. Both Candice and Tiffani are confident in what they'll, quite literally, bring to the table. The chefs are separated into two groups, the red group and the blue group. When one color cooks and presents, the other team tastes and insults.

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Top Chef




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