The Top Designers file into the lavish minimalist splendor of the White Room to once again have their self-worth decimated on cable television. In case you've been napping the past half-hour, Todd recaps the challenge and introduces us to the usual judges -- Jonathan Adler, Margaret Russell, and HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE HELL IS WEARSTLER WEARING? It's a big puffy shirt that looks like something a scullery maid would wear, paired up with an itty-bitty dress. And all that would be bad enough if it didn't look like Kelly beat up Robert Plant and stole his hair. It's just... you know... I'm going to have to regroup here. Anyhow our guest judge this week is... SERIOUSLY, MAN, WHAT THE HELL? I can put up with a lot of things, but I need Kelly Wearstler to get just a little bit weirder on me like I need a hole in the head. ["Personally, she's the only reason I'm still watching. How can she possibly top this? Full-length judicial robes? A trip into the LaBelle wardrobe from 1975? I'm riveted." -- Joe R] Anyhow, the guest judge is Tom Colicchio, whom some of you may recognize as the head judge on Top Chef, but whom I like to think of as That Dude on That Show I Never Watched and Therefore Have No Opinion About since I only tune in to Bravo to watch B-list celebrities play poker. Sorry if that's disappointing to anyone. But you know what? The very fact that he's not wearing a leg-of-mutton-sleeve shirt and a Rock Me, Amadeus wig makes him okay in my book, even if he is aping Adler's socks-is-for-losers look.

Now, you don't have to be a mystery-solving whiz like Adrian Monk -- returning to the USA Network this July with all-new episodes -- to see what's going on here: it's an attempt to use one show to promote another. Cross-overs are all right, I suppose, but when they're this ham-fisted, it's as insulting as the cutting remarks Donald Trump makes every Sunday at 10 PM on The Apprentice -- people can see through such blatant self-promotion, just like they can see through this stylish Heroes Logo Water Bottle, available for just $15 at the NBC Universal Store. My advice to TV show producers: keep it real, not unlike those Real Housewives of Orange County. I, for one, can't wait to see what those housewives are up to next... only on Bravo!