Top Design
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Tom's Diner

Time for another edition of Todd's Tough Talk for Troubled Top Designers. Today's subject is Goil, who's finally beginning to make headway on his raised wooden floor with the help of Sarah the Carpentress. "I see this as un-Goil like," Todd says; what he does not add is, "because it is disheveled and poorly assembled." What Todd means is that the room doesn't feature Goil's usual sharp edges, so it seems like a departure. Also, Todd has noticed the evil clown's painting handiwork. "Just make sure your blotches are intentional," Todd tells Goil. Ah, the "I meant to do that" defense -- the fumbling craftsman's greatest tool. On to Michael's room, where Todd would like to know about the three panels of aft in which the is-it-red-or-is-it-orange blotches diminish as you move from left to right. Remember the evil clown who ruined Goil's room? Well, here, it looks like he started painting and then got bored about halfway through. Michael has a much more elaborate, and stupider, explanation: "This is like the bite of food," he says pointing to the first painting. "And then like this is tasting," he says, of the second painting. And the third painting? "And then this is the savoring, kind of lingering." Yeah, well the room looks like what the food turns to a couple hours after all that biting and tasting and savoring, if you get my drift. Todd posits that the paintings look like a crime scene -- "kind of violent almost." Perhaps it's a violent-crime-themed eatery. You ever think of that, Oldham?

Goil is busy assembling what he's calling a flower chandelier; "it's my secret weapon," he says. We'll see how that turns out, but the early returns -- flowers stapled to a block of wood and dangling downward -- do not seem encouraging. Meanwhile, Carisa oversees the movers bringing in her $10,000 wooden table. Say what you will about the patio furniture -- and it does not look very good -- but Carisa really nailed it with the table. It'd be a real shame if something were to happen to it. And that something appears to be happening right now, as Carl attempts to line up a really long beam stretching the length of the room over that $10,000 table. Carisa has not adopted a positive attitude about this endeavor: "That's totally going to snap! Carl! It's going to snap! Carl!" And so forth. Carl has reached the stage in his relationship with Carisa that many of us arrived at weeks ago: he's simply tuned her out and is going about his business. The beam, however, appears to be paying rapt attention to Carisa: "Snap, you say? Well, all righty then." And so the beam snaps, as we cut to a great reaction shot from Sarah the Carpenteress -- sort of a combination between "Oh my God, that just snapped!" and "Better you than me, Carl." Ah, but did the beam take out $10,000 worth of table? The answer... after these commercials!

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Top Design




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