Top Design
Garage Band

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Instant Car-ma's Gonna Get You

Previously on The Real Top Designers of Orange County: Carisa won the challenge to design the perfect three-walled live-work studio for a design student, and, as a reward, will get first-choice of the nameless carpenters from now until the ending of time. Ryan's design was an affront to the eyes, and his attitude an affront to the senses -- or at least to Jonathan Adler's senses. But Felicia was inexplicably sent home, leaving us with seven designers to compete for: Money! Fame! And a car I'm sure we'll never see mentioned in this episode again! If you're feeling it, give me a hey, hey, hey-yeah, Top Design theme song.

Top Designers, roll call! Ousted! Goil! Carisa! Ryan! Ryan's Skateboard! Ousted! Matt! Andrea! Ousted! Ousted! Michael! Erik! Ooooooouuuuusted! If you're wondering how we judge them all and other contest facts, just repeat to yourself, "It's a Bravo show; I should really just relax."

As if to remind us what we were missing during Top Design's break, the show opens with the grim, glass-enclosed visage of the Pacific Design Center. And I don't know about you folks, but when our time is together is done, and Top Design is just another filthy memory whose outcome I've long since forgotten, I imagine my night terrors will still be accompanied by cutaway shots to tinted glass and curvy buildings and artificially composed showrooms. And I plan on waking up screaming. Matt is feeling a whole lot more better about the sight of the Pacific Design Center than I am -- he's excited that he finished in the top two of the last challenge, though he finds the results bittersweet since the judges gave him so much negative feedback. Wait... wait... the judges' comments don't seem to jibe with the results of the contest. I did not notice that. Carisa, meanwhile, says she's weirded out by winning the last challenge, as she was expecting to go home. "And I could go home in this one," Carisa explains for the benefit of recent visitors to our planet who have never watched a competitive reality TV program. "Anything could happen," she concludes, and again, that's true enough. Let's run down the myriad scenarios for Carisa's benefit.

1. The judges could be so moved by the winning design that they declare a winner here and now, forcing Bravo to run more Law & Order: Criminal Intent reruns the next five weeks. 2. All the remaining Top Designers could be replaced by ousted candidates from other reality shows. Yes, Mary and David, you may have been last to the matt in Chile, but now you get to remodel some rich guy's mud room.

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Top Design

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