Top Design
Garage Band

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Instant Car-ma's Gonna Get You
3. A meteor could smash into the earth, ending all life as we know it. 4. The producers could come up with a compelling and engaging challenge that results in clear, easy-to-follow judging that takes the stated criteria of the challenge into account.

Nah -- that last one's crazy talk. And to show you how crazy, Todd strolls up and lays out the parameters of this week's challenge. The Top Designers will be working for the Bell Family -- Isaac (the father), Patty (the mother), Dora (adorable moppet No. 1), Bea (adorable moppet No. 2), Avery (adorable moppet No. 3), and Mac (some sort of pooch). Oh, and there's another member of the Bell Family that the Top Designers will be designer for -- their 2007 GMC Acadia that just happens to be the same SUV that's one of the main sponsors of the show. I'm sure this has to be some sort of freaky coincidence. Anyway, the Top Designers' challenge is to redesign the Bell's garage for the GMC Acadia ("The Acadia: Our Car Is Too Awesome for Your Crappy Little Garage"). Oh, there's some other busy work for the designers -- the garage is filled with clutter that's going to need to come out, and Pa Bell would like a place for the kids to play and do homework (In the garage? Bwuh?), and Ma Bell wants a desk out there where she can do work, and the moppets would like an area for staging plays -- but in essence, the point of this challenge is to clean out a garage so that the sponsor's SUV can fit in there. Great. Fantastic. What are the chances of that meteor smashing into us again? And could it possibly get here before the next commercial break?

Ryan, of all, people is the voice-over of sanity here: "I think they want too much stuff for this project. They want a theater, they want an office, a place to park the car, store bikes, store toys, store a bunch of stuff they should throw out." Indeed. This seems like less of a job for Top Design and more of one for Clean House. Or at least one for Child Protective Services, if the Bells are serious about turning a garage into a play area for their kids. ("Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such educational filmstrips as ‘Carbon Monoxide: Nature's Unwanted Play Friend.'") Also, the Bells realize they can use other rooms in the house for things like offices and play areas and whatnot, right? Or is there some gypsy curse that prevents them from going up to the second floor? Ah, but enough questions from me -- at Todd's prodding, the Top Designers have a few they'd like to ask the Bells. Carisa wants to know what colors the family likes. Whatever you do, nobody say 'orange.' "Pink and blue," the youngest Bell says! "Pale-ish yellow," his sister adds! "Purple," says another Bell child! "Green," the parents agree! Red, adds one of the children! So pretty much every color other than orange, then. "It's going to be a rainbow room," Carisa says. Or an amorphous, unfocused mess. I know which outcome my money's riding on.

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Top Design

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