Top Design

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: C | 506 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
It's My Party, And I'll Cry If I Want To

Todd gives us the 20-minute warning, which is the editors' cue to show assorted Top Designers in various states of abject panic. We particularly enjoy the shot of Goil stringing together an assortment of lemons only to become partially hoisted on his own citrusy petard as well as Matt bellowing "Where's the booze?" (A question I ask myself every day at quitting time, my man.) And just to drive home the point that this is not Goil's week, we're treated to one last shot of him nearly getting crushed by a piece of wood while letting out a death whimper. I'm sure my new Bravo masters don't need any money-making tips from me, but I'd just like to hip them to this formula: Goil death whimper = insanely profitable ring tone. And a few finishing touches later, the design process is over and done; Todd tells his six charges to re-assemble in the White Room for their weekly spirit-breaking session. Looks like it's already begun for Goil -- he reiterates his feeling that it was two-against-one this challenge, with him as the one in that equation and that if his team doesn't win, he's going to get the shaft. Truly, he is the saddest R2 unit of them all.

Welcome to the Room of Abuse and Recriminations. I believe you're familiar with our regular judges: Meany, Frowny, and Can't Dress Herself Without Causing Some Sort of Incident. They're joined this week by Ben Bourgeois. Who is Ben Bourgeois, you ask? Only one of the biggest event gurus in Hollywood and the man responsible for putting together Elton John's aforementioned Oscar bash. Me, I'm a bigger fan of his archrival Peter Proletariat, but to each their own, I guess. Todd scampers out of the room, leaving us with this chilling greeting from an especially peppy Jonathan Adler: "Hey, party people!" Hey, sinister lead judge! In case you want to know which criteria the judges will be ignoring this week when they select a winner at random, it's overall design, execution, how well the five senses got incorporated into the design, teamwork -- here Jonathan pauses for an especially prolonged staredown with Team Discord -- and each designer's personal contribution to the project. Oh, and the opinions of the party guests swilling Bacardi Limón will also be taken into account -- perhaps their rum-fueled opinions will bring some measure of sanity to the proceedings. "All right," Jonathan says, doing the internationally recognized raise-the-roof symbol with his right hand, "time to par-tay." Well. It was until you pronounced "party" that way. Now it's just time to feel sad.

Top Design

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