Top Design
Life Of The Party

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Mr. Sobell: C- | Grade It Now!
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It's My Party, And I'll Cry If I Want To

But first, let's have the teams meet with their carpenters. You know, the carpenters they picked last week in the all-important carpenters draft as the ones that will accompany them and them alone for the remaining Top Design episodes? Only since this is a team challenge, the contestants will really be working with three carpenters, rendering the entire point of picking a specific carpenter somewhat moot for two episodes running? Yeah -- those carpenters. You know who I real feel sorry for? Other than me, I mean. Robert, who was picked by Ryan last week. Now that Ryan's been eliminated, Robert the Carpenter has nothing to do -- while his carpenter cohorts run around taking orders from the Top Designers, he can just sit back and revel in the fact that he's free and clear of any carpentry obligations to Top Design. Wait, did I say "feel sorry for?" I meant, "bitterly resent." Anyhow, Andrea outlines the obstacles facing her team to the carpentry firm of Sarah, Destroyer of Desks; Blair, the Guy with the Beard; and Jared, the Insanely Good-Looking Guy. (And I used to gripe that the carpenters were indistinguishable -- forgive me!) The team has to build a lot of walls and paint them all in one day; also, the detailing has to be perfect, Andrea says, as "this is a space that you have the staff of Elle Décor hanging out in." And if Margaret Russell is any indication of the rest of the staff, they're snippy and prone to focusing on every flaw, really and imagined. Erik -- the only non-architect Top Designer in the group -- has other concerns: "Everything was about the detail of the structure. I think more conceptual. I think more visual. I want the biggest impact for the smallest amount of effort." And with that, Erik takes charge, giving the architects their marching orders. That's a bold course of action that, in these team challenges, either propels you to easy street or dooms you to the comforting farewell embrace of Todd Oldham. Elizabeth and her cabana of many colors could tell you as much.

Over at Team Discord, Carisa is outlining her vision -- and it includes square donuts. No, seriously, I'm not making fun; that's how she describes it: "Where the inside would be a bench and have that repeated throughout the space. [The] DJ is kind of the centerpiece with the bar." Now I am making fun -- that's like a donut how exactly? Because there's a center? Shit, lots of things have centers -- Ding Dongs, the Earth's molten core, particularly serene Buddhist monks. I mean, I hate to criticize the donut metaphor since donuts can be really... you know what? I've got a hankering for donuts right now. I think I'm going to nip out and pick up half-a-dozen. Carisa, Michael -- do you think you could bicker needlessly and repetitively to cover for me while I'm gone?

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Top Design

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