Team Tahiti exults in its win -- "We get to go to the Viceroy and have a girl's weekend, all three of us," Andrea says of herself, Felicia, and, curiously, Michael -- and Jonathan turns to the unhappy task of crushing someone's hopes and dreams. Well, unhappy for the crushee anyway -- Jonathan seems like he's in a pretty good place with it. Erik is reminded for what seems like the 63rd time this episode that he's immune from elimination; the remaining five are left to squirm during the commercial break.

If the contestants find that unbearable, at least they don't have to sit through the AARP ad in which small children harangue me about not hanging the Greatest Generation out to dry over Social Security.

When we return, Erik is directed to go stand with Team Tahiti in the Lives To Fight Another Day line. Goil is told he can stay as well; it is very clear from the way the judges spared Goil from any of the invective poured upon Team St. Tropez, that they think he's just the bee's knees. Carisa is the next to be told she can stay -- guess teamwork wasn't that much of a consideration. For those of you scoring at home, that leaves Elizabeth, Matt and Ryan on the chopping block. Jonathan asks the three of them to step forward so that they're 18 feet away from the judges instead of the customary 20. Jonathan reminds Ryan that he could have tweaked the furniture to fit the spirit of the cabana but didn't: "We expected more from you." Elizabeth is told her cabana was the least successful, presumably because it was functional and didn't promote the spread of melanoma. Matt gets a scolding for disappearing in the challenge and not making his voice heard if he disagreed with the choices his teammates made. However, Matt can stay. Jonathan turns his attention to Elizabeth: "Goodbye," he says, sparing Ryan from elimination. You see what Jonathan did there -- he zigged when you thought he was going to zag. You expected a fastball so he threw you a curve. You gotta love how Jonathan Adler is always keeping you on your toes.