So it's off to the Santa Fe Lofts in
beautiful, scenic serviceable downtown Los Angeles. I'm actually familiar with the area, having been dragooned into attending a press event in the nearby Toy District, which is about two blocks north and to the left of where Carisa and Matt will be designing their dream lofts. Perhaps you hear the words "Toy District," and it conjures up a world of child-like wonder and delight populated by happy, toy-making elves. That's an appropriate mental image, so long as your world of child-like wonder and delight is dotted with many ramshackle warehouses and those happy, toy-making elves are, in fact, winos and hobos. But if Matt and Carisa are happy to have loft space within walking district of Skid Row, who am I to rain on their parade? Anyhow, the building seems nice enough -- lots of windows with a few pillars placed in inconvenient spots throughout the space. Y'all seen the movie Rent? No, of course, you haven't -- you have sense. Anyhow, it kind of looks like the lofts in that movie, only without the self-important hipsters singing about how misunderstood they are. So in that sense, it's an improvement.
Matt certainly seems to dig the space. "Look at the top transoms," he enthuses. Carisa agrees that the loft is "already, like, really [Matt]." She means that as a compliment. Anyhow, Matt has decided to go with a 1940s motif, which, given the history of the neighborhood, means he's going to fill his loft with strung-out starlets and civil unrest. Matt starts measuring. Carisa would like to know if he wants to measure together; he does not. Get your own loft, missy.
That leads us into our first montage of this final Top Design episode -- the measuring montage. Carisa wonders aloud what she's going to do with her barren concrete floor. With $12,500 to spend, I'd say your answer begins and ends with "hardwood." Or you can do what I would do: line the floor with butcher paper and then make off with the remaining portion of your budget to Panama. Meanwhile, Matt tries to heighten the inherent drama of measuring even further by running from one end of his loft to other, while he voices-over about how inspiring a space this is. "I'm sorry, Carisa, but you're going home," he adds. I suppose that could be taken as the ironic sarcasm that's so popular with the kids these days, but delivered in Matt's flat Midwestern twang, it's like listening to a guy order some sliders at White Castle. No, check that -- the White Castle customer would be more passionate. It's times like this I wish Top Design were more like professional wrestling: "Matt now measuring out the space around his kitchen and... OH MY GOD, IT'S GOIL! He's got a chair! He's beating Matt with it and taking his place in the finals! Damn you, Goil! Damn you to hell!" Sorry. Got a little bit carried away there.