Top Design

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: C- | 846 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
No, I Don't Think I Will See You Decorators Later

"Four days left" the superimposed graphic tells me as Matt and Carisa return to the Santa Fe Lofts; I guess, the superimposed graphics guy is as excited as I am that we're in the home stretch. Carisa, however, is excited at the prospect of having a black carbon floor. It looks... black. Coffee with no creams and no sugars black. Pretentious art school student turtleneck black. Carisa loves it, which is a good thing, since she spent far more money ($8,000) on it then she was planning to. It would totally suck to have that much of your budget swallowed up and wind up unhappy with the finished product. Up in Matt's loft, his floor has also been transformed into an inky black nothingness -- black painted concrete, to be exact. It doesn't look as nice as Carisa's floor, which is surprising, given that this is the self-anointed floor snob who once slaved over a leather floor.

Time to bring in the carpenters. Carisa, as always, will be accompanied by her favorite whipping boy, Top Carl. "I can't wait to give him a big hug," Carisa says. "Because despite all his, you know, issues, I adore him." What issues would those be, Carisa? The issue about bailing out your ass in the last challenge? The issue about not walling you off in an abandoned corner of the Pacific Design Center, as so many of us would have? The issue about being able to communicate with other people without a single eye-roll unlike certain other Top Designers I could name? Yes, Carisa, you're a saint for putting up with issue-laden Carl. One day, people shall build shrines to your memory -- and immediately desecrate them. To be fair, Carl seems genuinely enthusiastic about reuniting with Carisa -- I didn't notice him blinking out messages of distress to would-be rescuers -- so perhaps he's able to bottle up his rage better than I am.

If Carisa's working with Carl again, that must mean that Ed is back on the job for Matt. You all remember Ed the Carpenter, right? Nearly lopped off one of his fingers during the hotel room challenge? In case you don't remember, Top Design cues up the blood-stained footage to jog the memory and make me regret this bowl of spaghetti in marinara sauce that I'm enjoying while I recap. Ew. Anyhow, Matt is ecstatic to have Ed back, after his struggles with Sarah last time. So, with Ed having made a fully recovery from his injury, let's be sure to give him a real big hand. Sorry... sorry...

Top Design

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