Top Design
Lofty Designs

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: D+ | Grade It Now!
No, I Don't Think I Will See You Decorators Later

It's not an episode of Top Design until something horrific happens to Carisa's project. This week's installment: how we ruined that nice black floor of hers. As one of the worker bees pulls up some tape, a good chunk of the floor's black paint comes up with it. Carl decides that the band-aid approach is the best solution to the problem -- rip up the tape as fast as you can. On the downside, this doesn't appear to noticeably mitigate the damage; on the bright side, at least they get to see how awful the floors now look that much quicker. "How would Carisa feel about a brown floor?" Sarah asks, half-jokingly. I imagine she'd feel like screaming about it, if past behavior is any predictor of future results. Feel free to place your bets during the commercial break.

Speaking of which: you know, for as much grief as Jonathan Adler gets for assorted things -- the inconsistent judging, the banal catchphrase, the sockless wardrobe -- I think the thing that has annoyed me most of all is that look he gives during the weekly promo when Top Design reveals the winner among the suckers who text-messaged in during last week's show, when the announcer says that the winner gets a signed piece from the Jonathan Adler collection. "Are you sure you are worthy of one of my twee little vases?" the expression seems to say. On the bright side, Todd Oldham compensates by striking the "I'm a-gonna kick your ass" pose immediately after Adler's look of bemused disdain, so it's all good.

Back in Carisa's Loft of Sorrows, the carpenters are assessing the situation. "She's just gonna wig," Sarah concludes. Carl just white-knuckles a broom, wondering if he can maybe fight his way out of the loft, hail a cab, and slip off into the night, never to be seen again. It is at that moment Carisa comes in, enthusing about what a great job her crew has done with the loft so far, because telling her about the floors wasn't going to be awkward and uncomfortable enough. Sarah points to the offending spots on the floor. "Ooh," Carisa says with a pained expression. Well, that went better than I imagined -- I thought we were going to get five minutes of "Carl! CARL!" followed by a repetitive-stress-injury-inducing use of the Bravo bleep button. So that's personal growth, of a sort. Carl points out that a little black paint will hide the flaws. Carisa observes that floor is not refinished; indeed, it is painted. If someone had just told him it wasn't sanded, Top Carl sagely notes, "I would have spent $200 on plastic and done the whole damn room first." But not to worry, Carisa fans: Carl vows that this little setback is not going to stop them from Top Design dominance: "We're gonna come gangbusters tomorrow, and we're going to kick ass. Okay?" Carisa seems unconvinced.

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Top Design




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