And that triggers this interview from Carisa, which I can only hope was motivated largely by fatigue, instead of some attempt at Earth logic: "Carl's got these two baby girls," Carisa begins. "I'm much more motivated by the possibility that Carl will be able to pay for his children's education than I am by having $100,000 to start my own firm. I don't know, I'm just built that way." Uh huh. Well, I'm sure Carl's daughters will appreciate the semester or two of college they'll be able to afford on the post-taxes remainder of that $10,000, but unless Carisa is factoring compound interest into her calculations, this isn't exactly life-changing money we're talking about here. It beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, and it probably takes the sting away from being shrieked at for weeks on end, but let's not confuse 10,000 pre-tax dollars with "so long, working stiffs" money. For the record, Matt also thinks Ed is deserving of $10,000, though he spares us the treacle on how he hopes that money can help Ed fulfill his dream of building a dream home on the Moon.
Hey, there's just an hour left! "Do something important," Carl says to Carisa, though I feel like he's speaking to me. I shall -- y'all excuse me while I make sure that the celebratory booze is properly chilled. While I'm gone, please enjoy footage of Ed painting the floors around the daughter's bedroom, Carisa piecing together a black-and-white floral-print chair, some nameless cropped-hair dude putting vases in the cubes that Carisa built, Matt painting the floor (again), Carisa unwrapping a swivel chair (wheeeeeeeeeee!), and Matt primping cushions on his couch. Did you enjoy that footage? You did not? Well how's about a voice-over from Matt telling you how much he wants to win: "Winning would allow me to open my own firm. And hopefully, the phone will be ringing off the hook, and I'll have enough work to feed my family." That interest you? No? Then here's more footage of Matt using Windex to clean his glass table, Carisa moving a chair, Matt blowing dust off a table, Carisa assembling a ping-pong table (guh?), Matt unwrapping flowers, Carisa throwing pillows -- naturally -- into her bed pit, someone playfully whapping Matt on the head with paper towels when he asks to be knocked out, and Carisa enthusing about how nice her loft looks. You enjoying that? Don't answer -- I'll be drunk soon anyhow. Besides, we're done. Todd says so. No more teachers, no more books, only Wearstler's dirty looks. Off to the White Room.