Top Design
Lofty Designs

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: D+ | Grade It Now!
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No, I Don't Think I Will See You Decorators Later

Matt certainly seems to dig the space. "Look at the top transoms," he enthuses. Carisa agrees that the loft is "already, like, really [Matt]." She means that as a compliment. Anyhow, Matt has decided to go with a 1940s motif, which, given the history of the neighborhood, means he's going to fill his loft with strung-out starlets and civil unrest. Matt starts measuring. Carisa would like to know if he wants to measure together; he does not. Get your own loft, missy.

That leads us into our first montage of this final Top Design episode -- the measuring montage. Carisa wonders aloud what she's going to do with her barren concrete floor. With $12,500 to spend, I'd say your answer begins and ends with "hardwood." Or you can do what I would do: line the floor with butcher paper and then make off with the remaining portion of your budget to Panama. Meanwhile, Matt tries to heighten the inherent drama of measuring even further by running from one end of his loft to other, while he voices-over about how inspiring a space this is. "I'm sorry, Carisa, but you're going home," he adds. I suppose that could be taken as the ironic sarcasm that's so popular with the kids these days, but delivered in Matt's flat Midwestern twang, it's like listening to a guy order some sliders at White Castle. No, check that -- the White Castle customer would be more passionate. It's times like this I wish Top Design were more like professional wrestling: "Matt now measuring out the space around his kitchen and... OH MY GOD, IT'S GOIL! He's got a chair! He's beating Matt with it and taking his place in the finals! Damn you, Goil! Damn you to hell!" Sorry. Got a little bit carried away there.

As if the sight of people measuring things wasn't pulse-pounding enough, we now get to watch Carisa and Matt pack up their things from the loft on their way out of town. "What I need to do to win," Carisa voice overs, "is prove to the judges -- I'd say Margaret in particular -- that I can do luxury." You will also need to be more talented; do you think you can swing that in the next two months? On the dry erase board in her loft, Carisa writes, "Carisa -- the Mayor of Excusesville." First off, it's the "Mayor of Excuses Village" -- read the recaps! -- and second, is that supposed to be some sort of reverse-psychology motivational tool? And if it is, do you suppose right now Carl is sitting in his apartment writing things like "Carl -- it's going to snap!" on his dry erase board? Matt is going with the more direct motivational tactic: "Losing to Carisa is not an option." Well, it is -- it's just a particularly humiliating one. "If I lose to a student," Matt continues, "I am going to, like, rob a bank, and go, like, to Mexico and drink the rest of my life." Way ahead of you, Matt. Try the Sangria -- it washes away the shame.

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Top Design

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