But only a return to the White Room -- sparsely designed by Joe Stewart -- can confirm all this. The judges are feeling particularly judicial -- Kelly Wearstler has even gone to the trouble of donning one of those elaborate wigs you see on British judges. Hmmmmm? That's her actual hair? Ah. My mistake. Let's get to the adjudicating: "We were very impressed with some of your choices this week," Jonathan begins. "You scared us a little bit, too." Yes, Ryan, I believe he's referring to you. The judges -- and the client -- like how Matt was able to create a high-end look with garage-sale materials, so that has to count for something, right? Well, both Margaret and Joe Stewart are none-too-pleased with the pedestrian green color Matt picked. And if you think color choice seems like a minor nitpick considering Matt's overall success with the room, let's just ask Elizabeth to weigh in on how important these judges seem to consider color. But Elizabeth's not here anymore, you say? Exactly. The judges also seem to agree about Andrea's room -- "functional" is the damning-with-faint-praise word that keeps coming up. Kelly has an issue with the bed/couch saying that it's too narrow -- you might say she finds it hair-raising. Andrea protests that the client expressed no interest in sleeping-compartment width; nevertheless, Margaret proposes that a single cushion might be more comfortable than the split-cushion approach Andrea took, and Andrea concedes her point. Oh, if only we hadn't shot our Murphy Bed wad back in episode two, huh?
On to Goil, who greets the judges' questions with a curtsy. It's the most room-like room of Goil's, says Jonathan, which I guess is some sort of interior-designer riddle. Margaret calls the two-legged chair ingenious, earning another curtsy from Goil; Kelly suggests that the recessed mattress is an ankle injury waiting to happen -- no curtsy for you, Wearstler! "This way you never fall off your bed," Goil correctly point out. In a flashback, we see Goil's client, Zeal, touring the room with Jonathan: "I definitely could sleep here," Zeal says. "Me and another person." Jonathan does not press her on who. Now it's Felicia's turn, and time for the afghan to wreak terrible havoc on her Top Design prospects. Felicia calls the afghan "funky" and notes that her client seemed like she had a "funky edge;" if so, she's a self-hating funky-edged person, because Jonathan says that the client was disappointed in the room. And the main culprit? You, foul afghan! "This just feels like my grandma's house," the client says to Jonathan in a flashback. "If you walked in here, what would you do?" Jonathan wonders. "I'd shoot myself," the client says. Wow -- she must really hate her grandma. ["Seriously. My grandma had that afghan, too, and I think I would greatly treasure having such an afghan. In my closet." -- Joe R]