Top Design

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Men Don't Leave

Erik seems to be getting into the spirit of things, haggling over the cost of a chair and table: "I don't know many designers that start out with their million-dollar budget or their high-end budget, so you have to be creative from the very beginning... you have to work with what you got." Goil and Felicia have moved on to another yard sale -- it's worth noting that this time around, Goil doesn't introduce himself, lest the Goil-as-in-Gargoyle line reduce yet another unsuspecting garage sale operator in a puddle of laughter. Felicia, meanwhile, is having a hard time with both the $500 spending limit and the hand-me-down selection -- "This challenge is a little different from what I'm used to," she concedes. Maybe unfamiliarity explains some of her selections, like the bolt of neck tie fabric she's enthusing over; the fabric in question looks like it could be made into neck ties you'd give to a father that you had a complicated relationship with. Felicia's so rattled by the prospect of grabbing furnishings at a yard sale that she doesn't even laugh when Goil dons a skirt and dances a little jig. And if you can't laugh at Goil dancing a jig, there is no hope for you in this world. We get our first sighting of Matt and Andrea -- he's picked up an outdoor dining set for its clean, straight lines, and she's grabbed a leather suitcase that she plans to stick on a wall and some old doors that will be turned into tables. Pretty sure that's not the intended use for any of those items, but okay. And then there is Ryan -- poor, dumb, irritating Ryan: "I basically found a bunch of junk at the garage sales -- upscale junk. I have to alter all of it, and make it my own thing." So you're going to find a way to make the junk annoying and off-putting, then? Because I'd certainly recognize that as your unique stamp. With just 20 minutes left to shop, Goil says he grabbed chairs and a chandelier and "things I can alter." Felicia, meanwhile, has talked a gentleman into parting with his grandmother's afghan for $25. Not to jump ahead or anything, but this is going to be looked back upon as the Top Design equivalent of purchasing a cursed monkey's paw from a Turkish street bazaar -- it probably seemed like a hell of a good idea at the time.

Top Design

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