Top Design
One Man's Trash…

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Men Don't Leave

First up is Matt: Chic sense and good furniture plan, says Jonathan. Nice accessory selection, says Kelly. Hated that lamp he made, says Margaret. I am not shown saying anything about Matt, says Joe. Three words sum up the judges' reaction to Andrea's design: bland yet inoffensive. As for Goil, Joe thought there were lots of interesting ideas, but nothing to pull the design together. Margaret can't get past the bed and its potential for injury; obviously Zeal needs to describe all the freaky things she could do in that bed in graphic detail. And Felicia? Just her name causes Joe Stewart to sigh wearily: "There's certain connotations [sic] that these afghans [bring] up, and they're not youthful and hip and young and fabulous." Jonathan agrees: "Her room reminded me of the set of Mama's Family." That sound you heard was Vicki Lawrence screaming, "How dare you, sir" and shooting out her TV with a revolver. The afghan's horrific powers to cloud men's minds seems to have done its worst.

And so we move on to Erik, who Kelly praises for understanding his client's demands and for picking stuff that didn't look cheap. Oh, but the art... "Bizarre," Kelly says. "At least he was trying to address his client's needs," Jonathan agrees. "Yes, yes -- I am much uglier than anything in Erik's room," Felicia's afghan screeches. After expressing the hope that Erik kicks his taste level up a notch, Jonathan turns to Carisa's room: "She was a good shopper." Everyone seems to agree: "It's well thought-out, it's put together, there's a point of view, and there's a plan," Margaret says. Yes, and that plan is, "There is no room to store anything here." Jonathan notes that the client was unhappy with that lack of storage. How about Michael? "Clean, bright, and happy," Margaret says sarcastically. Kelly agrees that he needs to work on his colors. "There's some good taste in there," Jonathan posits. "It was better than his children's room," Margaret concedes. We are sitting the bar kind of low there, don't y'all think? And that leaves Ryan, who has to settle for being in the same paragraph with everyone else this time around. "It was memorable," Kelly said. "It made you think." So does Guernica, but I wouldn't want to live in that either. Then there's the small matter of Ryan's attitude: "I think if you're going to be all bad-ass and maverick, you've got to back it up with incredible talent." The only thing cooler than hearing Jonathan make this observation is seeing him punctuate the words "bad-ass" and "maverick" with hand gestures that suggest anything but bad-assery -- think 12-year-old skate punks down at the 7-11 trying to bully 8-year-olds into giving them Slurpee money. Ryan, I'm pretty sure Jonathan is making fun of you. Margaret agrees that Ryan has neither sophistication nor the knowledge nor the experience; but other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play? Kelly sticks up for Ryan, noting that he had an idea and a point of view; Margaret looks disgusted. Maybe she just noticed Kelly's new hairstyle.

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