Top Design
One Man's Trash…

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Men Don't Leave

The clients are dismissed, and Todd informs everyone that it's time for them to pick out paint and fabrics; they'll go shopping for furniture tomorrow. And that sounds like the perfect segue into a Top Design fabric shopping montage, complete with hot escalator-riding action. The designers have $700 to spend on fabric and supplies, which is good news for Ryan, who in a totally in-your-face sort of way, finds fabric that's very "pop" and "loud." "I've never bought fabric before," he confesses to the clerk at Pindler & Pindler. Two thoughts on that confession: 1) No wonder he was so adamant that Carisa do all the fabric shopping during last week's team challenge. And 2) You're on this show why exactly? I've never shopped for fabric, either, but no one was beating down my door to appear on a show that put my interior design sensibilities to the test. ("Uh... make sure you leave room for a beer-can pyramid. I find those really tie a room together.") While Ryan is letting his total lack of qualifications slip out, Felicia is spelling out her design philosophy: she caters to her client, "but I'm not going to just go do crazy, wacky things because my client wants to." So no flaming hoops and jell-o wrestling pits and velvet clown paintings, okay?

Night turns into morning, and we find ourselves at the designers' lofts, where a mysterious figure is seen creeping into the ladies' room. Prowler! Grab the valuables! Run to the panic room! Pull out the scatter gun and start firing indiscriminately! Oh wait -- it's just Todd... which is somehow more disturbing actually. So Todd can let himself into the lofts any time he wants? Does he make a regular habit of this, sneaking in at night to watch the Top Designers sleep while cradling keepsakes of the contestants who've been eliminated? Great -- now I've creeped myself out. Y'all will excuse me while I go double-deadbolt the front door. Anyhow, Todd's on hand neither to stalk or peep on the Top Designers, but to wake them up at a quarter to seven in the morning -- I will leave it to the reader to determine which action is more sinister. Before you answer, know that Todd brought coffee and muffins.

Having rousted the designers out of bed, Todd reminds them that they're building a live/work space for design students. Dude: we know. This couldn't have waited until 9 a.m.? No, it could not, because Todd needs to tell them about this week's surprise twist: "Today, your challenge is going to take on a great American tradition." Which tradition is that? The widespread acceptance of mediocrity? The celebration of style over substance? The promotion of ever widening income disparities between rich and poor? "The garage sale," Todd says. Oh -- so a combination of all three, then. The designers seem strangely thrown by this: "I've never been to a garage sale," Andrea says, "Which I know seems strange." Yes, it does -- extremely strange. Are you sure you're actually from this country, comrade? Todd tells the Top Designers that the judges will be paying extra close attention to how well they'll be able to take their $500 worth of garage sale purchases and "polish that diamond in the rough." And then the judges will promptly ignore that criteria, if the last couple of shows are any indication. The designers will be randomly paired up and unleashed upon the yard sales of greater Los Angeles until noon. With his work done, Todd wishes the Top Designers luck and tells them he's off to take a nap. The designers laugh ruefully, presumably because pelting him with muffins would negatively affect their prospects.

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Top Design

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