Top Design
One Man's Trash…

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Men Don't Leave

That's your cue, room assembly montage. While a jaunty techno tune bee-bops in the background, we're treated to the requisite shots of Top Designers scurrying about with various pieces of furniture. Carisa is painting her room a creamy carnation color -- the chastened designer's orange. Ryan has decided that his fatal flaw in designing rooms was to treat them like, you know, rooms. Nope -- he's treating this like an art project: "So I'm making a black room... white stripes... crushed glass so that it looks like diamonds." And the tortured screams of a client who realizes you expect her to live in this hell -- are you adding that, too? Because that seems like it will be on the menu as well. "Ryan seems that he's totally in his element," Felicia observers. "And I don't know whether it's going to look like a junkyard or whether it's going to be this really cool artist's space." I'm going to cast my vote for junkyard, but what do I know -- I'm a fuddy-duddy who thinks that cabanas should have some sort of protection against the sun.

And now this week's Goofus and Gallant moment, courtesy of Goil and Carisa. Gallant's (Goil's) carpenter measures something at 9 3/4-inches, which does not fit in with Gallant's measurements. So Gallant patiently explains to his carpenter what he wants (even if he confesses via voice over that he might pick a different carpenter if he had a choice). Goofus (Carisa) micromanages her carpenter about the rolling desk that's the centerpiece of her design to the point where the carpenter begs Goofus to stay the hell out of the way. "Sarah says she's got it worked out and she'll knock it out tomorrow," Goofus says. "And I'm trusting her. Because, you know, she's my carpenter." You're fooling no one, Goofus.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, racing around to come up behind you begin -- and just like that the Top Designers are arriving back at the Pacific Design Center for one final day to put the finishing touches on their live-work spaces for design students. Band saws, tape measures, leveling -- it's yet another room assembly montage. Matt expresses confidence in his chances of winning the challenge by "pulling off a high end look with no money." Judging by some clever things he appears to be doing with some Clue board game-sized candlestick-like lamp fixtures, he seems to be backing up his words with action. Felicia is pasting up her "Here's an ugly tie, Dad" wallpaper through the miracle of paper cement -- Top Designers aren't the least bit fazed by the lack of wallpaper paste -- and saying that she's pleased with the look of her room. That makes one of us -- to me, it looks like the room's been decorated with the pelts of 1970s businessmen. But don't take my word for it -- let's ask Michael, your one-stop shop for sneering comments about his fellow designers: "I think the wallpaper Felicia chose looks like a bad '80s necktie." Wrong decade, right sentiment. Meanwhile, Goil is working his typical Goilovations with the space, elevating the relaxation area from the work area. Because the folks running the garage sales decided to hoard their giant peppers, for the second consecutive week we are going pepper-free. I'm beginning to worry about Goil.

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Top Design

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