He fires the starting pistol... and they are off! There's the normal mad dash for the fridge. Floyd has never cooked eggs in a microwave before and he hopes that touching the vile machine will not cause him to go radioactive and be turned into a superhero because that would be a total drag to have to go around saving people all the time and not have the luxury of serving the good people of New York the tamarind lemonade they so richly deserve. I completely agree with him. Also, I would like a tamarind lemonade even though I just made it up. Naomi, being a hippy in hipster clothing (I think that's the City of Portland's motto), didn't have a microwave growing up and doesn't have one in her restaurant now. You just push a button right? I guess Naomi also has never been in a dorm room, nor found herself starving in a Flying J truck stop in South Dakota where the only food options are either microwaved frozen burrito or frozen frozen burrito. She's making eggs and bacon. Hugh is also making eggs and bacon. He knows how to use a microwave. No biggie. Traci Des Jardins is making eggs in cocotte and she is taking it really really fucking seriously. Oh wait, no, her face just always looks like that. She is ridding her egg of the white altogether. Mary Sue is making a goat cheese and avocado sandwich with bread that is too hard (or not hard enough?) whichever way, the bread will be her downfall. Traci's bacon isn't crisping. Naomi's eggs aren't cooking. Floyd's eggs aren't cooking. It's a disaster! Except, of course, it's not. Everyone gets their dishes done.
OH MY GOD THE GUEST JUDGES ARE FRANGELA. If you ever saw VH1's Best Week Ever you probably saw Frangela offering their wise commentary on such topics as Bret Michaels hair, The Hills, and John Stamos. Since that show was brutally cut down in the flower of its youth, I guess Frangela has been doing... I have no idea what. [They were on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, but I haven't seen them since then. -- Angel] But their agent was able to get them a guest-judging gig on Top Chef Masters, along with the likes of national recording artists Maroon 5, so hopefully they will be okay and they will land on their four feet. Like a very funny cat. [Insert Garfield joke here.] Anyway, the first dish is Naomi's egg, bacon, spinach, and chanterelle mushroom concoction, which is served on a biscuit. It's an egg sandwich. Naomi has also crafted an adorable berry salad. If there was more unripe honeydew and green cantaloupe, you could call it a fruit salad. They all agree it's good, but mild and the biscuit is a touch heavy. Off stage Naomi scoffs their knowledge of microwave cooking. I think this kind of attitude is where the whole calling liberals "arugula eaters" came from. "Real" Americans eat out of microwaves and eschew leafy greens! Or something! Next up is Hugh's baked egg with bacon, tomatoes, and chanterelles. Either Fran or Angela thinks the egg is perfectly dry, while either Fran or Angela prefers her egg runnier. Hugh makes a shooting himself in the head motion and I don't really blame him. Mary Sue made her avocado tomato toast and, as expected, the bread is a little hard. Also, Frangela likes eggs for breakfast and avocado toast for a midnight snack. Take note future Frangela employers!