Trading Spaces
Arlington: First Road

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B+ | Grade It Now!
Arlington: First Road

Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night. MPDP appears in a relatively demure sleeveless red blouse and jeans and announces that they're in Arlington, Virginia, across the river from Washington, D.C. Doug and Hildi drive a big-ass truck up to a yard sale with Ty sitting on the tail gate. Guess who got a hair cut? Doug, George Clooney called and he wants his hair back. It's a lot less grey now. I don't know if he coloured it or if he just naturally had darker roots and now that it's shorter it all looks darker. Doug, Hildi, and Ty goof around with stuff at the yard sale, showing off their mad decorating skillz by winding Ty up in a blue skipping rope, and placing a bright red umbrella in his hands. Doug grabs a phone and pretends it's for Ty. Ty's now holding the umbrella and the phone, and pretends to talk into it as Doug holds a gun to Ty's stomach. I hope it's a play gun, but they're in the USA, so all bets are off. Ty's trying to play along, but when Hildi comes along with a spoonful of something and tries to shove it in his mouth, Ty pushes them both away, asking, "God, what is going on with you people?" I'm afraid they're acting out some kinky little fantasy, myself. Then my mind completely shuts down and I have to be medicated for hours in order to complete this recap.

MPDP reappears in front of a statue with a flag sticking out of it, and admonishes us, "With only a $1000 budget and two days, ask not what your neighbours can do for you, but what you can do for your neighbours." Actually, I'm beginning to think the best thing anybody can do for their neighbours on this show is refuse to participate when they come bopping over with the Trading Spaces application in their sweaty little fists and a scary gleam in their eyes.

We see Cheryl and Tory and Sean and Elaine on their lawns across from each other. The women sit in lawn chairs while the men mow the lawns. They all wave merrily to each other. Cheryl (who reminds me of no one so much as Pia Zadora) and Tory want the master bedroom in their colonial-style house redone. It's pretty basic now: kind of dusty yellow walls; white woodwork with a chair rail; small windows with white shades; a very traditional-style four-poster bed in dark wood; orangey-toned strip hardwood flooring; a ceiling fan. The bed linens are taupe, yellow, and white, in sort of an abstract patchwork pattern. Opposite the bed is a side chair in taupe fabric with dark wood legs, and a low chest of drawers with a mirror, in dark wood. The room is rather on the small side compared to the show's requirements; I find it hard to believe that it's 14' x 14'. It sure doesn't seem fourteen feet wide. And the bed really overpowers the room. They say that the room is pretty bare bones now, and that they just want a change of pace. Tory knows he's losing the fan. Cheryl wants light, airy colours; she mentions pastel blue. Tory: "Or green, like a deep forest green." I don't think Tory wants pastel anything, myself. They both say, "No neon."

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Trading Spaces




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