Trading Spaces
Long Island: Steuben Boulevard

Episode Report Card
Deborah: B | 1 USERS: F
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Long Island: Steuben Boulevard

Shout-out to CydW.

MPDP appears sitting on the edge of a dock, fishing, jeans rolled up to her knees and wearing what looks like the top half of a baby doll nightie or something: a yellow printed top with poufed, ruffled short sleeves, pulled off the shoulders. I suppose it's a change from seeing her midriff. Frink and I both thought "Daisy Mae" at the same time. I wonder how MPDP managed to roll her jeans up to her knees, since they're pretty damn tight. She's back to the old haircut, but it's a little less wingy. She introduces Maria and her husband Brian, who are shown batting a baseball. They're having their dining room redone. Maria's cousin Anna, and her husband Sal, are shown rollerblading. They want their bedroom redone. Insert lots of fish, baseball, and rollerskating clichés here. Anna and Maria look a lot alike -- more than enough to be sisters, with practically the same hair. It should be fun trying to keep them straight. Actually, their husbands look a lot alike, too. Plus they've used the green and blue team shirts, which Frink thinks are too hard to tell apart at a glance. Usually I don't have too much trouble, but when couples look and sound this much alike, well...

Now Daisy Mae's in a boat, reciting the rules of the show. She tells us, with the assistance of more fish clichés, that the designers are Frank and the new guy, Edward Walker; Edward apparently used to be the sewing coordinator for the show, and has been promoted to designer this season. We see Frank and Edward in a little boat, paddling along. Ty comes running down the dock, and takes a flying leap over the boat and into the water. Frink thinks Ty is just hilarious. In fact, he informs me that Ty is his favourite cast member. He has sort of a weakness for goofballism, a trait I do not share.

Sal and Anna's bedroom is pretty blah: white walls; wall-to-wall cut-pile carpeting in a colour they call green, but which looks more like teal on my screen (lot of blue in it); very dull bed linens in a purplish grey; black chests of drawers/nightstands; a crucifix above the bed, hunter green miniblinds on the window; white ceiling fan. Sal says they're pretty much modern and contemporary kind of people, and that's how the rest of the house is decorated. He says they're not into country.

Brian says their style is country, and contemporary doesn't work in their home. Their dining area is fairly large, with a very high cathedral ceiling. The ceiling is panelled in knotty pine, stained an orangey colour. There are a few narrow rectangular skylights. The walls are kind of a pale yellow. There's a built-in hutch on one wall, except that it's only the top half, and below it, there's just a big open rectangular space. Very weird. It's distracting as hell, partly because it's so top heavy and partly because, the hell? What's that opening for? It's painted inside and the flooring runs in there, so it seems pretty intentional, but I can't imagine what it's supposed to be. They have a rectangular dining room set that seats six, all in orangey wood tone. The floor is hardwood in, you guessed it, a lighter orangey wood tone. There's a window with vertical blinds and a floral valance. There's a free-standing storage unit with open shelving and a couple of drawers in an orangey-stained pine. There's a brick fireplace placed on an angle and the whole room is very open to the large kitchen next to it, where there are more orangey-toned cupboards and Mexican tile-esque flooring (I can't tell from this distant shot whether it's real or vinyl or what.) There's a blobby black leather couch that's totally at odds with the feel of the room. What this room needs are some cool colours, or some neutrals -- something to provide some contrast and relieve the eye. Maria says that she would like a Southwest touch. She adds that if she doesn't like what's done to her house, she's going to drag her cousin over there by her hair. Brian says he'll grab Sal by his earlobe and bring him over and say, "What did you do?" Maria says she'll just ask if they had fun doing it and "love them anyway." Aw.

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Trading Spaces

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