Trading Spaces
Miami: Ten Court

Episode Report Card
Deborah: F | Grade It Now!
Miami: Ten Court

This is supposedly Kia's last show of the year (we were told eight episodes and I hope nobody's yanking me on this), and it couldn't be over soon enough. But I hear she's coming back for the fourth season. Listen up, Banyan/TLC: there's going to be a serious nationwide shortage of Pepto-Bismol if we have to put up with another season of this woman who has a fairly grating, extremely clueless, and nearly unwatchable personality, and no legitimate claim whatsoever to the title of "decorator," never mind designer. Vern help me, another year of itchy, kitschy Kia? If you've seen one or two of her disasters, you've pretty much seen them all. She's worse than a rank amateur or a hack; she's really a disgrace to design. She's got dime-store taste and a yard-sale mentality. Her room for that military family was really an affront -- and I am one of the least pro-military people you'll ever meet. I can't think of one worthwhile or creative idea or truly enjoyable moment I've gotten from her presence on this show, and I wouldn't say that about any other designer on this show, even the ones I'm not especially jazzed about. Enough already. Find someone else. Please, I'm begging you.

MPDP says that Kia had a few fiascoes in the room. As one of the readers in the forums pointed out, in Kia's case, "Kiasco" (tm Vel) would be a better word. She says the border turned out exactly the way she wanted. Really? The mass-produced, nearly foolproof strip of wallpaper went up on the wall just the way you wanted? Take a bow. MPDP says she's not a huge fan of borders, but that she likes this one. Kia, seizing on something -- anything -- to boost her cred: "I'm the border queen." Yeah, like that's a good thing. MPDP happily agrees, and says that Kia puts them in all kinds of unique places. She says Kia put this one in a "normal" place, and that she thinks it really sets the tone for the room. Kia: "Tropical paradise." Kia says she likes the bamboo and she likes the sea shell. MPDP asks if the paint came out the way she wanted it to. Kia hems and haws and says it's close, and that her team did a good job. MPDP says it's such a shame about the TV cabinet...only she means about its being broken, not about its being created in the first place. She says it's still salvageable. She says she likes the tray...and there's a shot of the other door, which has been turned into a tray on top of the chest of drawers. There are some potted flowers and candles in it. It looks like crap. MPDP says, "That's the really neat thing about the designers on Trading Spaces: you have this huge fiasco, but then, you're like, 'Well, all right, we'll make it a tray!'" I think somebody has a future as a spin doctor for the White House, if she can wean herself off the hoochie clothes. MPDP says that one of her very favourite things in the room is the window treatments. She thinks they're very cool. MPDP says she's under budget: she spent $972.85. That's an astounding amount of money to spend for this effect.

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Trading Spaces




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