Trading Spaces
Miami: Ten Court

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Miami: Ten Court

Ty and Nancy mix mortar.

Kia and her team smooth the border as she assures them that it will start making sense now: "It's all downhill from here." Lady, it's been all downhill since you did that craptastic family room in New York, and it's been one wretched room after another ever since. The only room with a glimmer of hope for it was the Indian bedroom, and even that was nothing to soil oneself over. Kim's just glad that the border isn't part of their homework, because she says she's done them with Eric before and it's not his forte. And that it's not fun. Translation: "We nearly got a divorce over that."

Hildi, Ty, and Hildi's team are busily spreading mortar around.

Kia's outside nailing a bunch of branches to a frame when MPDP comes along, commenting, "This is like backwards progress." Which pretty much sums up the show, in many ways. MPDP doesn't understand why the ready-made frames have to be put together. Kia explains that she had to take them apart to ship them, because it was cheaper that way. MPDP: "Oh, well, how clever are you?" They cut away quickly before we get to hear anyone's answer to that.

Ty tells Rich and Nancy to make the next batch of mortar thicker.

MPDP wonders what's going inside of the branch frames. Kia explains that there are going to be mirrors, and shows her how these things are going to be the doors of the "TV box." First of all, I don't know why you'd particularly want mirrored doors for something like that. But why would anyone want these big, clunky, mirrored doors surrounded by branches and twigs nailed together every which way? Even Vern couldn't make that look good. Not that he'd be inclined to such a kitschy, asinine project in the first place. MPDP claims to like it and think it's cool.

Hildi and her team are almost done laying the pavers, and she says they should do the stairs first, so that they won't have to step on the freshly laid pavers on the floor to do them and risk messing them up. Then I guess they can sort of hang over the stairs to finish the floor. Hildi wonders whether Rich and Nancy think Eric and Kim will like the floor, and what they said about the rug. Nancy says they wanted the rug out of there, but that she thinks they were looking for wood flooring. She thinks they will love this.

Kia's lashing two pieces of bamboo together at the corner by tying raffia around them. She explains to Kim that they're making window frames and stationary panels out of them. I don't understand why she always wants to make such complicated window treatments. They're going to be hanging these frames on the windows with hinges and putting panels of sheer fabric in them. And this will obstruct light and provide privacy...how, exactly? Kim says it's an "awesome idea" and wonders if they have enough time for this project. Oh, don't worry your pretty head about time. Kia's a master of scheduling and time planning. Kia's response to this: "Oh, we have plenty of raffia." I think maybe Chesebrough-Pond's needs to sponsor this show so that everyone can be kept as well-supplied with Q-tips as they are with Swiffer cloths. Kim knows that they have plenty of raffia. She's still wondering about time. Kia assures her that if they don't have enough time, "Paige will come in here and poke us and prod us and get it going." Right. No need to plan things carefully; if you run out of time, MPDP will let you know and you can just leave the windows bare. What a ditz.

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Trading Spaces

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