Frank hauls in a heavy box of tile and tosses it on the floor. Of course, it all breaks. Laura and Tim react as you'd expect. Tim can't stop reacting. I think Tim might need a tranquilizer before the end of the show. Frank gets them to sit down with him around the tile: "Let Uncle Frank talk about this." He picks up a piece and says, "See these? These are broken shards." Frink and I burst out laughing, from the redundancy of the phrase, the utter obviousness of the comment, and the overall silliness of the material. Frink thinks that's the funniest thing Frank's ever said. They're going to put a tile mosaic on the fireplace. We're still laughing so much that the first time around I don't hear Tim tell Frank he's brilliant. Frank: "I get that all the time."
Back to Hildi's room, where she and Dennis are painting various symbols and shapes on the wall. She says all the walls are going to be that colour, including the wee, pointless half-wall by the entry which she "can't stand," and adds that they're building a new wall. There? Or somewhere else? Dennis is very enthusiastic about the room, and that seems be getting Hildi pretty wired up.
Frank says he has three boxed of tiles, but he only wants to break them up one box at a time, because he thinks he's "as usual" over budget and would like to return whatever they don't need. He says if he can't get it under $1000, he can always lie: "I'm not beneath that." Meaning, of course, not above that. The bumper to the commercial is MPDP dancing with the Disney characters.
Hildi and her team discuss whether this colour is going to spice up Laura's life. They think so, saying that it should spice up one aspect of her life, and that most of her life is spicy. Dennis: "She needs some more spice in her life." Jennifer: "But that's A Dating Story." Hildi says the shows "crisscross back and forth" and maybe they can hook Laura up.
Frank mortars the fireplace.
Hildi says that once they've spiced up Laura's life, she can get some TLC, by which she means "tender loving care" and not the network. Dennis outlines their plan for Laura: "Trading Spaces, first, A Dating Story, A Wedding Story, A Baby Story." Frink: "A Divorce Story." Me: "Yeah, why don't they have that?" Frink: "Can't be much longer." Me: "But they should call it Shouting Match, even though it screws with the pattern." Frink: "Or All Over Except for the Shouting."