Trading Spaces
Orlando: Whisper Lakes

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Orlando: Whisper Lakes

MPDP appears in a Mickey Mouse T-shirt. Frink's taking Mickey Mouse as a comment on the quality of a lot of the work on this show. She's at Disney World, in front of a statue of Walt (that old fascist) holding Mickey's hand. Cut to Hildi, Frank, and Amy Wynn clowning around with Minnie, Goofy, and Pluto. Bet it's insufferably hot in those costumes. Well, at least the anti-union Disney Corp. can no longer force the workers to share their underwear. I'm not sure what's so damn magical about scabies and lice. Hmm. Cranky, much? Well, you try recapping the same damn thing for forty-five weeks.

Cut to the homeowners, also clowning at WDW. Laura, who looks not a little like Mary Lou Retton and who wants her living room fixed up, is being helped by her friend Tim. Jennifer and Dennis want their family room beached up. Back to MPDP, accompanied by Mickey, Minnie, Donald Duck, Goofy, and Pluto, doing a sort of quasi-key swap kind of segment. She explains the rules while all the characters nod and react.

Here's the family room to be beachified. Jennifer and Dennis want a "fun, friendly, functional family room." It's one of those rooms that's glass and screens on at least two sides, which to a Canadian like myself looks like a sunroom or enclosed porch, but is probably a very normal room for Florida. The floor is something brown, the colour of wet sand, maybe carpet, maybe some kind of stone. There's a squat white fireplace in the corner with a black chimney pipe coming out of it. It looks so wrong and weird to my eye to see a fireplace in the corner of a glassed-in, porch-like room. They have a sectional sofa to which Frink has a really strong negative reaction, while I'm engrossed in trying to figure out if they bought it that way or slipcovered it themselves: it's mostly a taupe-y off-white, with solid blue seat cushions and striped back cushions in red, blue, taupe, white, yellow, coral, and maybe black, or that could be a thin stripe of dark blue. Anyway. Yikes. From any distance the blue in the pillows doesn't show up that much, so the whole thing just looks really uncoordinated, like someone amalgamated three different sofas. Actually, it kind of looks like Frank already got to it. There's a wicker sofa table behind it, and a pine entertainment centre in the corner with the TV in it. Children's toys are placed here and there.

Dennis says it's their "everything room." Jennifer says their house is "themed beach" and they would like to make this room look "beach cottage-y." She mentions there's wainscoting around the room, though it must be about a foot high since I can't see any of it. They're hoping something can be done with their "bleah" fireplace, maybe a mantel or something. Right now there are lots and lots of framed pictures on top of it. Jennifer assures viewers that they do use the fireplace in Florida. She points out something else they hate about the room, which is that there's a sill or shelf a few inches deep between the bottom of the windows and the top of the wainscoting, and it's filled with some kind of brown gravel or pebbles cemented together. Yeah. That's not attractive at all. Maybe somebody thought it would be good for plants or something. They want that gone.

Laura wants her "country" living room spiced up. She's got a McMansion-ish living room with the high angled ceiling and almost complete lack of architectural detail. Some of the walls are white and some are green; the carpet is beige. The green is like what hospital green would be if it decided to be really cheery and make an effort. She's got a whole suite of furniture in an enormous green-and-white plaid pattern that clashes slightly with the green on the walls. The accent pillows are all in the same colours with plaid/gingham patterns in decreasing scale. She's got a country-ish pine coffee table and matching end tables. There are white vertical blinds on the patio doors and a ceiling fan. Laura loves the colour and the pattern of the couches, which are eight years old. She loves the "country feel." She refers to a framed picture in her living room, which is of a field of wildflowers in muted, cloudy pastels. She loves the warm feeling of this picture and refers to the purples, yellows, greens, and pinks in it, saying she would love to see something like that. Man, it's really too bad she's not getting Frank. Tim puts in his two cents, saying that Laura's a "very young, hip chick" and that it doesn't have to be country. He thinks the room can handle any style. Translation: "Please, God, deliver my friend from this snooze of a room."

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Trading Spaces

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