Props to the absent Deborah, whose hard work I never fully appreciated until I counted the number of times in this recap that I found myself struggling for a word other than "thingy."
MPDP is standing in what looks like a park and emphatically does not look like a soccer field. She is, however, wearing a soccer jersey, which says "REACH" right on her left breast. I don't think that instruction is meant to be taken literally. I think she wouldn't like it if you did that. I do prefer this shirt to most of her hopelessly cutesy clothes, though, especially the ones that are cut down to the bottom of her rib cage. She explains the premise of the show, in case you're unfamiliar, and she launches us into what is going to be a truly nightmarish hour of soccer puns. She says we will "get a kick" out of the episode. And she kicks the soccer ball she's been holding. She loves the puns, that nutty MPDP. What a lovable scamp. Don't you want to just poke her with something sharp?
MPDP goes on to explain that all of the homeowners today are members of The Charge, Philadelphia's women's professional soccer team. The "heady" Jen and Erica will be facing off against "footloose" Karyn and Mary-Frances. Thank you, I did not actually order any more puns, since my closet is full to overflowing as it is, just from watching this show every week. In fact, I would like to return some of the ones that have been delivered previously. Nevertheless, MPDP's next line involves "scoring" in the rooms and needing an "assist" and getting a "charge" from the designers who have been "drafted." And it goes on. And on. Just as I'm getting ready to claim some kind of finger injury and call in sick from writing this recap, we cut to Hildi and Frank, cavorting in a field somewhere. Ew, not like that. Well, sort of like that, actually, since she is on top of him, bouncing up and down. She's on his back, though, and I think they're playing horsey. EW, NOT LIKE THAT! Frank and Hildi are then seen kicking a soccer ball around (that would be the soccer ball of Yes, Yes, I Get It, They're Soccer Players) with Amy Wynn. Frank and Hildi look like the kids who were picked last for kickball at Unathletic Dweeb Camp, whereas Amy Wynn looks right at home in her football jersey, and unsurprisingly has no trouble dribbling the ball past Hildi and Frank. Incidentally, I am so happy that Amy Wynn is the carpenter, because otherwise I would be forced to detail my feelings on the topic of Ty, and there is nothing I find more shameful than detailing my feelings on the topic of Ty. Yes. Yes, I know. But try to remember, people like me are human beings, and with your help, we will one day be cured. It will not help to ostracize us and cut us off from society.