Because Texans haven't been quite fully insulted by all the rootin', tootin' stereotypes trotted out in the recent slew of episodes, they pull out all the stops for this show in Dallas. MPDP rides out in a cowboy hat on a horse, working the whole "Howdy, pardner" schtick, yammering about being just "down the trail a piece from Big D" and neighbours "chomping at the bit" to remake each other's homes. Yes, really. I am left wondering why they didn't have her pronounce the "neigh" in "neighbours" as a whinny. I guess that would have been overkill. As MPDP tries to finish her intro, the horse trots off in the wrong direction, taking MPDP away from the camera. She cackles oddly and holds on to her hat. ["Which totally didn't fit her, by the way." -- Kim] The viewing audience blesses the horse.

Cut to a young couple...er, "cowpokes," named Chad and Sherry (with their kids), who want their family room redone. The other cowpokes are Tim and Lori, also shown with their two kids, who want their playroom redesigned. And "riding into town" to "wrangle these rooms until the final showdown" are the designers, Genevieve and Vern, who also ride out on horses, Gen looking slightly more at ease on a horse than Vern. Gen and Vern are followed by Ty, who's on a horse that won't go, despite Ty's apparent efforts to make it giddy up. He gives up with what I can only describe as an equine sigh. Gen and Ty are wearing cowboy hats. Vern is not, which surprises exactly no one.

Cut back to MPDP, who's apparently struggling to control her horse, and declares that it "could be a lot like riding bareback in a Texas twister" to get the rooms done on time and within budget. MPDP: "But I'm here to help rein 'em all in." She giggles and gives a "woo" and a "whoa" as she gets the horse to stop.

Cut to a shot of a McMansion; it's Chad's and Sherry's. Their family room isn't the worst-looking "before" I've ever seen on this show -- and in fact, given some of the hellish "afters" this show has spawned, it looks a lot better than plenty of those, too. The room "before" is just kind of bland. They say they use the room a lot for entertaining, and that it's the centre of their home. It's got beige carpet, nondescript off-white walls, a white fireplace, and (uh oh!) the ubiquitous ceiling fan with the faux wood-looking blades. I can't tell in this shot whether it's just a ceiling fan or has a light in the centre. The ceiling fans-cum-lights are almost always much more hideous than a plain old ceiling fan. The room is furnished with a kind of taupe-beige sofa; a pine armoire; a wing chair that looks black in this shot but I think is actually dark green; a child's wooden rocking chair; and some kind of dark-coloured trunk (which looks red in this shot but I think actually has a very dark orangey stain) for a coffee table. The curtains are white; there is the usual handful of plants, candles, and accessories; and on one wall, there's some sort of interesting contraption for displaying art, which only has two pictures on it but looks like it might be designed to handle more. They say they want the room to have more drama and elegance and to elicit a very positive reaction from people. Chad doesn't want it to look cold or untouchable, and doesn't want the room to be any shade of pink, and he's not even all that crazy about red. That's when I know he's getting Vern. They're fine with the furniture coming out. Sherry adds she'd like to see a "cool finish" on the floor; they're not big on the carpet. Sherry says they're just going to let them do whatever they're going to do and she hopes they'll love it. But she says it in the sort of nervous way that tells you she's seen this show. Unlike, say, Crying Pam.