Trading Spaces
San Diego: Duenda Road

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San Diego: Duenda Road

MPDP appears in front of a huge pool, wearing a Sea World wetsuit, and she seems pretty excited to be there. The whole thing is so incredibly cute that I'm not even going to make fun of all the fishy puns. She turns to the pool behind her and shouts, "Hey, Shamu: how about a black and white theme?" On cue, two killer whales jump out of the water and do a flip. Frank and Vern, also in Sea World wetsuits, are shown with the dolphins; Vern's riding one, and Frank's sitting next to one in very shallow water, petting him. The dolphin opens its mouth and appears to be smiling in that irresistible way dolphins have. You know, Frank actually looks really good in black and grey. I know he prefers to wear as many shades of orange, yellow, red, and blue as possible, but the black and grey really work on him. Amy Wynn (not in a wetsuit -- sorry, AWP fans) is sitting next to a seal; she and the seal keep turning their heads toward each other at the same time and opening their mouths in surprise. Oh, it's ridiculously cute. Next, MPDP's at the edge of a pool where two killer whales are in shallow water. She talks about the challenge of the show and asks, "I'm still thinking we're going to have a whale of a good time. You think so?" The whales nod. I'm just plotzing with the cuteness, here.

Our homeowners -- Buddy and Mary, and Richard and Kelly -- are feeding some birds in a pond. Kelly and Richard have a large, beige box of a bedroom with a very high, angled ceiling. The walls and carpet are beige; they have a suite of orangey-toned contemporary furniture, and a bed with no headboard and yellow bedding. A closet with four large sliding doors takes up most of one wall. They want the room to be more romantic. Richard mentions that he would like to see some colours like reds or golds or greens. As she listens, Kelly's smiling at first but then starts to give him a screwy look. He's open to anything. Kelly, not so much: she hesitantly says she doesn't want to see any of Frank's murals. That makes two of us, lady. She thinks Frank might be unable to resist the lure of all that open wall space. She says that he's a professional designer, so she just hopes he knows what he's doing. She doesn't sound convinced to me.

Buddy and Mary want their living room redone. I'd tell you what their living room looks like if I could see anything other than the 65" TV that overwhelms it. I think these folks win the prize for the most humongous TV ever featured on this show. Okay...apart from the TV that ate southern California -- which is housed in an entertainment unit which was clearly designed to go with it -- the room is a normal height, with light tan walls and a greige carpet. It has one of the sillier fireplaces I've ever seen: not only is it rather off-centre on the wall, but its chimney breast is a shallow projection from the wall of just a couple of inches on one side only. And that runs from floor to ceiling at an angle. The mouth of the fireplace is an arch surrounded by bricks, and the hearth is covered with the same bricks. All of the fireplace wall is the same as the rest of the walls; drywall, I suppose. Then there's a thick, shallow white shelf serving as a mantel, which runs from the corner of the room to a few inches from the angled part of the wall. That angle is one of the most gratuitous details ever. I seriously do not know what they are teaching architects these days, but from what I see in almost every newer home, they clearly are not offering any classes in symmetry, proportion, or scale. I guess this is supposed to be some quasi-southwestern look, but I'll bet there are a bunch of Pueblo people laughing their asses off somewhere. There's a green sofa and a coffee table placed cattywampus (tm Frank) to the TV, and a matching green single chair directly opposite it. There's also a blue wing chair off to the side. Behind the sofa are two large picture windows covered with white vertical blinds. There are various pictures and tchotchkes around the room. Mary thinks they need to redo the room because of that whale of a TV. (See, I can play, too.) Buddy grins that that's his favourite part of the room. Suddenly the screen goes completely black. No, wait -- that's just because the cameraperson decided to shoot their TV screen. Mary's not quite as enamoured of the TV as Buddy is; she describes it as a big, black box. She says you have to work with the TV and try to decorate around it. She mentions that she totally does not like the southwestern thing. Mary says likes the reveals where the transformation has been so dramatic that people don't even recognize their rooms. Buddy says there's a lot of work to be done.

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Trading Spaces

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