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Stalk Show Host

Commercials. Can you imagine the nasty, pungent shits that lions would be dropping if they actually started eating Taco Bell?

Some photographers are milling about outside The Talon. Chloe is watching them from a window in her apartment. She's miffed that Lex has decided to take a business trip while the paparazzi are swarming outside. With that bit of exposition, we see Lana sitting on the couch, explaining that Lex didn't leave her unprotected. Chloe snarks about Lex's "Robocops" patrolling outside. Chloe repeats that she can't believe Lex would leave the country after a demented stranger broke into Lana's bedroom. Lana admits that she led Lex to believe it was just jitters. Lana's voice sounds really hoarse. Maybe she has a cold. "You lied to Lex?" asks Chloe. Lana says that she couldn't show Lex the cell-phone photo. Chloe says that she'll stay with Lana until they catch "Norman Bates"; she adds that she needs to see the phone. Lana, for some weird reason, hesitates. Chloe tells Lana that it's the only way they're going to track this guy down. Chloe sees the picture and says she doesn't think Lex would have minded a picture of Lana in her lingerie. Lingerie? It was a big-ass robe. Lana says that it's the chisel she was worried about. She says she thinks Lex stabbed Clark with it after the engagement dinner. The picture, in close-up, shows Lana holding the instrument. Is this a chisel I see before me? Chloe gulps. She asks if all this secrecy is about "that which we do not speak of." Lana says she just wants Chloe's help in finding the stalker, and that she'll find out the information about Clark's secret on her own. Chloe gives her a dark look. Lana doesn't back down.

The Barnness of Choreitude. Clark is leading a horse into the barn (but not to water), talking sweetly to the animal. MamaKent walks in, bundled up and cold, asking what he's doing there. Clark says that he's still doing his chores. MamaKent asks how she was able to drive to Metropolis, go to a children's fundraiser dinner, and drive back in that time. Clark says that he has to do his chores the normal way: with the paparazzi following Lana and exposing him as an ex, he feels like he's being watched. Clark says that he's spent so much time trying to stay out of the spotlight, but pushing Lana to Lex has put him right back into it. Chloe, also shivering, enters the scene carrying a brown envelope. She says that it has to be warmer in that spotlight than it is outside. MamaKent says, a little insensitively, that she'll make hot cocoa to thaw out the two of them who can actually feel the cold. Wait. So Clark gets no cocoa love? Also, I know Clark is powerful, but he can't feel temperature changes? Or is it that they just don't bother him? MamaKent rubs Chloe's upper arms and then goes to make the drinks. Clark says that Chloe looks half-frozen. He asks if she shouldn't be next to a fire somewhere, snuggling next to Jimmy. Chloe says that she's on a mocha-mint run for Lana (decaf?). At least, that's what she's letting Lana believe. Wouldn't Lana know that Chloe didn't just go downstairs to get the coffee at The Talon? Chloe tells Clark about the creepy phone call and the breaking and entering. Clark asks what Lex is doing about it. Chloe says that Lana has some "compelling reasons" for keeping him in the dark. Clark is about to spring into action, but Chloe tells him that there are guards and that Lana's fine. She says that nobody's going to go near Lana without the security team knowing about it. You really think so? Clark wonders if there's something he can do. Chloe says that she dug up information about a "lowlife shutterbug" named Louis Esposito. She says that Jimmy knows the world of shady photographers and could help; she asks Clark to call him about it. Clark asks why she can't just call Jimmy herself. Chloe says that she can't, since they sort of broke up. Clark asks if it has anything to do with keeping his secret. Chloe says it doesn't. "And yes," she finally admits. Clark starts blaming himself, but not without mentioning that his lies have already pushed Lana away. Chloe says that Lana is a lot closer to Clark's secret than he knows. Chloe shows Clark a blown-up version of the cell-phone picture. It seems like an awfully good picture to have come out of a cell phone. She asks if Clark recognizes anything. "It's my dad's chisel," says Clark. He's upset that it's bigger than his. Outrage! Clark asks if Lana saw Lex stab him. Chloe says that Lana doesn't know what she saw, even though it really sounds like she did. Chloe says that Lana has been orbiting Clark's secret for years, and that she may finally be coming in for a landing.

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