Big old hug for a bewildered Sookie, and then Janice explains that her horoscope just today said that things were looking up for somebody close to her. "Nailed it!" she giggles, and gets out her spackle and whatnot. Sookie tries to tell her that she and Alcide have a strictly business relationship, having to do with a disappeared buddy and a need to get into Lou Pine's (still: ugh) without getting tossed. It's a neat little acting moment, like, you can actually feel Sookie relaxing and trusting Janice as she speaks.

Janice is thrilled to give Sookie a biker bitch makeover, and clearly good at what she does: "How deep do you wanna go?" Not knowing that our friend Sookie, of course, can only do things twice as much as normal people do things. "I wanna look like I could kick some serious ass." Janice grins. "Which I can!" Somehow, Janice doesn't just pet her on her sweet little head that Jesus made, and pulls out some fake tattoos to look into. "No chance of anything more between you and my baby brother?"

A) Have you seen him? And B) We are both insane about our exes, so not this episode at least. Janice is quite the transmitter, though, and within seconds has psychically revealed that Debbie's engagement party is second, if it exists at all, to Debbie's initiation into Operation Werewolf/the FUCrew, and also Debbie is on the V. Because she is nuts, this will only make Sookie want to fight her more. She floats the obviously dumb theory that Alcide should go and talk to Debbie and talk her out of what they're now both pretending is her engagement to Cooter, but Janice's psychic told them that if Alcide stayed with Debbie he would die. He didn't listen, but she dumped him anyway.

"She was his first love, he never met anybody so alive, all that shit. But how many bullets are you gonna take for somebody? How many bad things gotta happen to you -- and the ones you love -- before you realize feeling alive ain't enough? I am just glad he made it out alive."

In Sookie-speak, where we're all just robots performing for her entertainment, then: "First love" equals Bill. "Taking bullets" equals Bill, but there's a hint there -- for us -- about other stuff. And the last couple of sentences are multivalent in a way that encompasses everybody on the show, but especially Bill's breakup speech, by managing to make the same word ("alive") mean almost opposite things at once.