Jessica bumps into the cutest little church boy, named of course "Chip," who is so excited to see her not only because he misses her from Bible study but also because, you know, she died. He shouts about God and praise Jesus and it's a miracle that she's alive, and her glamoured parents will be so happy, and Jessica just stares at him that usual way, like being a vampire is just the worst, and which of the three vampire things she knows how to do are going to take care of this mess. He's too cute to eat, she's not interested in killing him, so it's going to have to be glamour. Poor sweet Chip.

Cal Norris is gross in the show. That is a heartbreaker and I'm going to stop talking about it because who needs the stress, but it's a major bummer. Even though Janice and Debbie are vastly cooler on the show than in the books, so that's something, I always thought one of the neatest tricks Harris did in the books was making you love Calvin. He's like right under Alcide and right above Eric for me, in terms of guys I love in those books. Holding strong at number two, no matter how weird Hotshot gets. And girl it's gonna get weird.

Lafayette is trying to sell Cal some V, and they talk about how Jason busted his little brother last time, and Lafayette is not a cop, and has no interest in infringing on Hotshot dealing territory, but wants to help Cal up his game and diversify: "Help you step up in the world, clean some shit up." Crystal offers to "grab the Dirt Devil from Felton," but one mean glance from Calvin and she slinks off, yelling about how she's not Felton's momma and won't be feeding him any dinner. Alone again with Cal -- whom you may remember as the health inspector that dated Phoebe and made Gunter cry -- Lafayette tries to impress upon him just what a good deal, financially, the stuff is going for. He should introduce them to Pam and then they would act right.

Cal replies, finally, that Hotshot isn't interested in dealing with "people like you," which seems maybe-racist for a sec but you're like, maybe it's a vampire thing, because the next thing Cal does is warn Lafayette to leave: "Son, polite's in short supply around here. It's time you get your ass home." Which seems more than maybe-racist. Outside, they are fucking with his new car, and everybody's yelling, at which point Cal grabs Lafayette around the chest and I think he is all the way racist, and there is also homophobia.