Downstairs, Bill and Eric suck on Sookie's wrists. Eric's sweet and Bill's sweet, and they keep going and it's awkward and weird and Sookie finally gets woozy and then decides to have a serious talk with them about some things. It's one of the more risible scenes in the entire show, as Sookie's romances usually are, which I guess is sort of the campy point but it can still be utterly painful to watch.
Sookie: "I can't imagine a world without you in it. Both of you. I can't stand this anymore, it's like being ripped in half. No matter what I do somebody I love gets hurt."
Bill: "I will take the Solomon route and cede you to Eric."
Eric: "I will take the Eric route and throw a premature celebration!"
Sookie: "I want to drag this out as stupidly and hilariously as possible. Keep talking."
Eric: "Bill had his chance! He blew it, he lied to you..."
Sookie: "Yeah, to protect me. And I lied to him to protect you. And you've lied to both of us so many times we can't count."
She tells Bill she forgives him, which is important: "I know you've loved me every bit as much as I've loved you." Bill confesses that she's still the love of his life and she's like, "I know. But surprise! I don't choose you."
She tells Eric he was right, and she has always been into Vicious Untrustworthy Eric, and that the goodness was always there too, and that she loves him. But surprise! She doesn't choose him either.
"The time we had together was unforgettable, but it it's over. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but I know it's the right one for all of us."
(N.B. Boys will never, ever buy this. No boy in the history of time has been able to accept the Logical Breakup, and no boy ever will. But she's still a hero for doing it.)
Jesus drops by to say goodnight to Lafayette and tell him to stop crying. He didn't even kill him, and anyway he's dead now so he's not too broken up about it. Pain is the last veil.
Jesus: "I'm cool with how things went."
Lafayette: "But I sure the fuck ain't. I murdered the man I love, how am I supposed to live with that?"
Jesus: "Just keep breathing, baby. It's that simple."