True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Love Is The Plan The Plan Is Death (1973)

Needless to say, they bounce with a quickness, and you can hear sweet Hoyt in the living room -- "Y'all leaving? It was real nice meeting y'all!" -- while Jason looks down at his dick and once more suffers existentially.

While the howling wolves come closer in the night, Bill glamours the old lady, Olivia, and tells her to forget all of this biting business. Where is he? "In my house." Another question and he realizes he's in Mississippi: Across state lines, which is to say, in another Kingdom entirely. Bill produces a wad of cash, telling glamoured Olivia that it's from Stanley, who came to visit. It's incredibly sweet, and he caresses her cheek softly with a smile before leaving. Like I'm so sure he would have just killed her, but I love this little premiere-episode reminder of what Bill is actually about.

Meanwhile in Bon Temps, Lafayette comes home looking for Tara. Lettie Mae, reading Men's Health, is none too interested -- thanks to Reverend Daniels solving all the problems with homilies -- and just sort of waves vaguely toward the bathroom. Needless to say, Tara's in there gulping pills, so he gets to pounding on the door.

Jessica feels the spot and pulls over: I guess the wolves were driving Bill's car? So does that mean everybody's in Mississippi right now? "I am a freak of fucking nature," Jessica mutters, but then Sookie is getting super hilarious and hardcore at the accident. There's this certain madness tinge her voice gets sometimes where it's like she's six feet tall: "There's a body in here, but it's not Bill!" Something about the way she says it is so funny, like she's lifting the car up over her head as she says it.

She calls Jessica over to pull the body out with her vampire strength, and they start checking the body for, as Sookie says intensely, "Anything that might tell us who this fucker is!" Nothing of the sort, but there is a rune burnt into his neck, sort of a Z with a slash through it. Jessica pulls up a listing of, um, neck runes -- There's an app for that! -- and finds a reference to, sic, "Operation Werwolf." Sookie shivers as elsewhere, the wolves surround Bill. "I should warn you," he grunts manfully. "I've fed." And that's when the boners start flying.

Next week: The King of Mississippi, more Coot, the horrible Mickenses, crazy moms of everybody, Jessica's situation worsens while Bill's weirdens, and Sookie yells at some people, probably.

Check out this interview with Joe Manganiello, a.k.a. Alcide on True Blood.

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True Blood

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